My Philosophy of Teaching

Hello, old sports!

Aren't you proud of me? I've been pretty good about keeping my new year's resolution so far, no? 3 posts this January! I'm on a roll! (Ahh, I could do with a nice roll actually. I'm all hot and sweaty today in this balmy weather. Be right back)

Ugh, so itchy!

Seriously, Spode, who ordered this weather? I'm boiling! 

Thanks, old sports. I probably shouldn't complain. Last winter was freezing, we all need to remember that! 

Anyway, Spode and I had a good mini-vacation. Well, vacation for her. As usual, it means more work for me, but I was pleased to see her. Spode's been rather stressed at the moment, so I did my job of making her feel calm and content again. Lots of treats for me is a part of that formula. Perfect team. 

Basically Spode is in her happy place whenever she gets to brush me for extended periods of time. My tail provides joy quite often, especially now that it's starting to grow back from me rubbing it... 

Spode also greatly enjoys making me look like an idiot. Gawd. I'm a horse, not a moose! 

Whatever, this is just a part of life with Spode, and I accept it. Especially when she's stressed out. And boy, has she been stressed lately. Impending graduation, job searching, and school craziness is driving her a little crazy at the moment. We had a few bareback rides this weekend: a definite sign that Spode just needs to chill. 

Don't worry, Spode. I got you. 

Spode has to make this movie for one of her school assignments describing her philosophy of education. She has to choose a metaphor for teaching and, surprise, surprise, she chose me! Anyway, I could have done it all myself. My philosophy of teaching: be there for Spode. Doesn't matter if I'm good or bad, as long as I'm still there. I have the easiest job in the world! Not tough, really. I just have to be authentically me. If I can make her laugh, I'm golden. Funnily enough, she laughs more when I misbehave I think. Sheesh, and she wonders why I don't have better manners... Ooh, and if I can be like the literary Gatsby in subtle, fun ways, that's a bonus. I'm helping to teach her further literary analysis. I've got the handsome thing down pat at least. 

Spode's philosophy is a bit more complicated though. It's going to involve a lot of work. Today she wanted a video of us doing join up, which may or may not play a small role in the final product (the joys of having a perfectionist for an owner). It was all going well. I was totally focused on her and ready to work, but then there was a whole bunch of noise outside, and horses were coming and going. I couldn't help but get distracted and lose my focus on her. 

Ok fine, you have my attention. Momentarily... 

Sorry. That took me longer than usual. Ooh, what noise was that!?

So I'm not sure the video will be any good for her. And today wasn't the greatest day for running around. Man was I hot! I've got way too much hair for this weather. I was a wee bit foamy by the end of our session. 

Speaking of weather, I am all set for a Canadian winter that we're apparently not getting. Check out my fancy new clothes!! 

It's so me!

And a perfect fit! Size 90... 

And perfect timing, I also got a pretty new blanket bag from auntie Breanna! 

Good thing, because my locker is FULL of blankets at the moment. There was no room for anything else! That's what happens when you have a blanket-obsessed Spode for an owner. I have more coats than she does.  As it should be, am I right?

This one is not really my colour... 

But you can't deny that it fits well! I got a small rip in it the first night wearing it though. Spode was less than impressed. 

Finally, Spode also got me a new bit (Yes, it's basically been like Christmas at the barn, much to Spode's bank account's dismay). I was starting to be a little fussy with my bridle and after checking the bit, she realized it was a bit tight. So now we've officially progressed from a 5.5 to a 6 inch bit. I have a big head, apparently (it's my ego, I'll admit it!). There was immediate relief for me and I stopped with the head fussing immediately, but I was still bothered by my noseband which has become far too small. Spode is on the lookout for new bridle deals, but in the meantime, I've gone Western--sans noseband. I feel like it makes my head look long. But it feels good on the hairs on my chinny chin chin not to have a noseband. Ah, bliss. I do miss my green highlights though, especially since my hair covers my sparkly broadband during the winter. Come on, Summer!

Next time Spode is home, we have a date at the dentist's. Not my favourite, but I'll also get my eyes checked and the first of my spring vaccines. Ah, the joys of auto-immune disease... Spode and I are just thrilled.


Until later, old sports.

Jay.

Ok, it was me. Yes, I called the university and told them not to run the workshop.

Spode might be kind of mad when she reads this one. Boy was she mad when she came home (unexpectedly) this weekend. See, she was not supposed to be here. She came home last weekend, just 4 days after Christmas break, because she was not meant to be here. Why? Because she had an important workshop to do 2 weekends in a row. Because her world basically implodes if she hasn't seen me in over 18 days (that's the danger number. When Spode hits day 18 without touching a horse, be prepared for a mental breakdown at any moment for no apparent reason. "Hey Spode, how are you?" Cue tears. Seriously, it's a thing), Spode decided to book her bonkers train schedule to work around it while still seeing me.

However, then the university threw a spanner in the works, a horseshoe in the mud, if you will, by moving the date of the workshop without informing anyone. Cue a mad panic of changing train tickets and phone calls to work and parental units just to see me.

What? You think this innocent face had anything to do with it? Nonsense! *cough, cough*

So after Spode had finally come to terms with the change in schedule and the increased money spent on the train, she got even worse news: the workshop has been cancelled altogether. What she doesn't know, however, is that it was cancelled because I used my horsey hacking skills to decrease enrolment in the workshop, leading the university to abandon the project altogether. I'm pretty smart, eh old sports? Of course I am, don't answer that. I basically got 2 extra weekends with Spode as a result, as she once again frantically started changing tickets around. This means more treats, more brushing, more wild rides with the Spode. All part of my plan, muahaha. Hey, Spode might be (just barely) fine going more than 2 weeks without seeing me, but I never said that was okay by me. In an ideal world, my danger number would be 5 days. After that, I start mauling the barn manager and any other boarders who dare to come into my field for a reason other than to pet me and love me. It's just not fair! The end of March cannot come soon enough...

Seriously, I don't know how anyone resists my face, bug eyes and all.

Anyway, we had a lovely unplanned weekend together. Seeing me cheered Spode right up, and I made sure to give her an exceptional ride that first day. Never better. Of course, that couldn't last all weekend. Jeez, what do you expect? I want to have some fun too. Spode was a bit frustrated with my lack of focus and hyperactivity the following rides, but I figure it all balances out in the end. Right old sports? 

Not every ride can be like this, Spode. 

No, sometimes instead your ride ends with you having to hand walk a very hot horse. That'd be me. Sorry. I didn't feel like going slow today. Still looking incredibly adorable though, no? You know you love it. 

Spode nevertheless had a bit of a frustrating weekend as a result of, well, me. My body actually. Turns out finding a turnout blanket that doesn't choke me is harder than it looks. 

Does this cooler make my head look huge? Yes? Well that's because my head is huge. So are my shoulders, as it happens. 

Spode was ready to pull out her hair. She gave up and ordered me two blankets online. If they don't fit, we might see a breakdown again. Why the sudden urge for blankets? Well, first of all, it's Spode and Spode LOVES blankets. Of all the equine accessories, there are few things she likes more. You can imagine her disappointment the first winter with me that it turned out I didn't need a blanket. But this year's weather has made my coat more meagre than usual, and with the riding and sweating, I'm just not as tough as I used to be. I've actually been chilly a couple of times. Yes, me! So now Spode has decided to go into full on blanketing mode. I'm actually size 86, but I have a giant size 90 rainsheet because that's the only thing that fit my chest (just barely!). This of course means I have plenty of length, not having a particularly long back to begin with. The blankets she ordered will probably be the same, so we might needs to have some altering... What a pain. Yes, it turns out horse shopping can be just as painful as shopping for humans. The blankets she ordered should arrive by the next time Spode is back, so we're crossing hooves and fingers in the meantime. 

I'm expecting a full wardrobe next time, Spode! Even pink would be fine (quite appropriate considering my name, actually)

The other frustration was with the hairs on my chinny chin chin. My beard needed a trim. The bridle was making me sooo itchy! We went back to the flash this weekend to see if that would help with my itchy lips, but not much difference. Out came the clippers. Hard to tell if it was better or not today. Now I'm a bit itchy because of the fresh trim, so we'll see how itchy I am next weekend. I also just need a bigger bridle in general. I'm on the last hole. But I go down an entire hole in the summer when my hair is back to normal. Ah the joys of being an oversize horse but not quite a draft. A good fit is hard to find, old sports. 

Anyway, Spode is gone again so everything is back to same old, same old until she returns and we get into more adventures. The previous weekend we had a very exciting weekend with the return of an old friend, who had a lovely ride on me, followed by a massage--my belated Christmas present. Oh man it felt good! So nice and relaxing (well, most of it!). I'm living the dream now. Spoiled rotten--even Spode hasn't had a massage before! Priorities, old sports. 

I felt as relaxed as Tyr today. Doesn't this just make you wish you were a horse too, old sports?

I think I'll join in. Shh, it's my nap time now. Bye Spode! 

Until later, old sports.

Jay. 

New Year Edition!

Er, so old sports. A whole holiday has gone by and I only managed to write one blog post. I am a terrible equine. So lazy. No motivation (hey, nobody gives me a carrot for writing one of these. Maybe if they did I would be more inclined to type). I'll work on it. It'll be my new year's resolution. I need to get back into the swing of keeping regular updates on my (mis)adventures with Spode.

And regular updates on future achievements! Next step, training level!

As far as holidays go, we didn't do anything too thrilling. Just the usual things. Plenty of hacks, plenty of schooling, plenty of dressage, and many bareback rides doing nothing in particular. Those are some of my favourite rides. Just goofing around and not working on anything.

Lots of hacking!

Of course, I also did some goofing around as well!

I really enjoyed having Spode around every day again, though I didn't always get to spend a lot of time with her since she was working a lot. I don't mind. She only works to keep me in treats (well, and in drugs. Vet bills, you know). She never fails to at least give me a treat and a pat on her busy days, so I can't complain.

And when she's working, Spode is the one who delivers my breakfast. Yum! 

Santa was nice to me as well. I got myself a mega bag of treats, stud muffins, AND a likit! Whoa baby!

The Motherload!!! Yum. Thanks, Santa

The best part of the holiday was having my auntie Breanna over for a visit. She only gets to see me once a year, so her visit is always very special and Spode is just over the moon, which always makes me happy too.

The only downside to Breanna visiting is that I'm forced to work correctly! 

As with every holiday, Spode realizes what a push over she is when it comes to her animals. That also means that I have a lot of ground work "tutorials" where Spode cracks down on my more "annoying" habits as she calls them. Pawing, being mouthy, pulling towards the hay, chewing on cross ties... all my favourite things. It will probably always be her New Year's resolution to be "more strict with Gatsby". It usually lasts for the month of January and that's it. I was very good today knowing it was her last day of holidays to put her in a good mood. That was all part of my plan. She'll be extra soft with me when she next comes home now. I know it. I can play Spode with my eyes closed (actually, closing my eyes is the BEST way to play Spode. You should see how fast she drops everything and ignores whatever the hell I'm doing if I squint an eye slightly. Spode goes from being firm to being hyper focused on "poor me" in less than a second)

Or being kicked in the teeth, as the case may be. Hey, can't have a Christmas break without some kind of health scare. 

Speaking of eyes, it's going to be a nerve-wracking spring for us since the surgery will officially be at the 2 year mark, which is when my cyclosporine implants are likely to lose their effectiveness. We'll be crossing hooves and fingers that I get lucky and the acute uveitis stays at bay, while the insidious one continues to be, well, insidious. My eyes continue to show signs of inflammation damage without showing any signs of inflammation. My own little mystery (maybe we should get Spode's Sherlock Holmes on the case? Does he deal with equine mysteries?). Unfortunately, that damage and my cataracts means no second surgery for me. We're just hoping, and that's all there is to it.

Look, I'm cold. Can I have some treats now? 

We also had a picture day over the holidays, and Spode's brother in law got to try his hand at riding. Silly Spode forgot to take photos of that though! 

Quite a good start to the new year. Let's hope 2016 is my year of good health! (And also Spode's year to get employed so she can afford the inevitable future vet bills I'll get for her! Sorry Spode)

Until later, old sports.

Jay. 

You can't take the teacher out of the Spode

But sometimes I wish you could.

Spode is home on "holidays" but she's in full teacher mode. Is it the fact that she just went to an employment conference? Possibly. Whatever the reason, she is not taking any nonsense from me. The first two days were all fun and games, but today we worked entirely on manners and respect. She told me to expect more of the same when she kissed me goodnight. Did I need a brush up? Sure, probably, but I just want to have fun! And eat Spode. And climb into her lap. And drag her to the hay. And trot faster. You know, just normal 4 year old horse stuff.

What's a guy got to do around here to get a carrot?

Sometimes, a teenager has just got to write that essay on Shakespeare. Sometimes, a horse has just got to stand still when told. Today was a formative assessment day, luckily for me. The summative will occur at the end of her holidays. Some holiday.

This is far too much work!

But you know I like to complain, old sports. In truth, life isn't bad. I still run to Spode and can't wait to do stuff with her, even if it is just ground manners work. We had a lovely trail ride in the woods. It's taking some getting used to, but we're having fun. It's not easy judging the ground and the woods while wearing a blindfold on one eye and a goggle on the other eye. I've gone from liking to be the lead horse to being the tail end. I don't like having someone behind me--too much stuff to keep my one eye on. That's something we'll have to work on as well, but it'll take time.

Look both ways before crashing into trees! Luckily that dorsal stripe up ahead keeps me in line. 

The weird spots in my eyes continue to pop up, though they've slowed down considerably since being on maxidex again. Ah, drugs. How excellent they are...

Sorry for the terribly short blog. There will me more adventures this holiday, promise. Spode finished a big chunk of her homework today, so I'm expecting more from her in the next few days after she sorts out some employment stuff. The girl's gotta do work so I can eat. I get that. By all means, Spode, work on that resume and website. In the meantime, I'll be over here, eating hay so I fit into this size 90 blanket even less...

Mmm, so good!

These blankets just weren't made for Clydesdale sized bellies. It's not my fault. 

Really, I can be quite distracting for poor Spode. I bleed into her life in every way imaginable. Did you hear about her birthday? I sure did. So will everyone else as they see her driving next year (well, whenever she gets employed, that is!)

They match the personalized saddle pad that Spode got me!

Luckily she loves me. And what's not to love? Bad baby behaviours and all.

Until later, old sports.

Jay.

What I'm Thankful For: Finding the Bright Side of Intermittent Blindness

Hello, old sports!

The sun is bright, the grass is green, and Spode is here. Life is good!

It's been a while since one of my more serious blog posts, hasn't it? The downside of Spode being at school--I have lots more time for reflecting, but less time to write it down.

Spode's home again this weekend and we had a nice long spell together. 5 day weekends are the best, and I'm thankful for it! But you know, it's really easy to be thankful for the good things in life. I'm thankful for treats, Spode, brushing sessions, and green grass every day. But I've been thinking that perhaps Thanksgiving should be the time when you give thanks for the aspects of your life that aren't so obviously good. And when you look at me, you know immediately what that aspect is, right?

Go on, I'll give you one guess.

When Spode and I first met when I was just a 2 year old, my eyes were fine. We spent the initial 6 months of our partnership as any other horse and girl would. There were trials, errors, and successes. There were forward steps and backwards steps. There was a transition time from Zoodles to me, as there would be with any new horse.

Then December came, and so did my initial bout of Uveitis. Suddenly I was a horse with special needs. A horse with a problem. And Spode was an owner with a burden.
There was pain and affected vision, but you know what else I got? A whole lot of love that I wouldn't have gotten so fast if it weren't for this auto-immune disease of mine. The time for transitioning and building trust slowly over months was over. I needed Spode now. And Spode, who had needed me from the start, finally got the whole me.

Love you to the moon and back.

What's your obsession with my nose, kiddo? 

That might seem backward. The time of trials and tests should be during the disease and not when I'm healthy, right? But Spode is a little funny. I think a part of her needed a horse who needed her. I think she needed to feel that she had a job to do for me, and that job would require a whole lot of her: a lot of love, a lot of money (sorry about that) and a lot of hurt. And that's a good thing. It's not that she wouldn't have loved me in the same way if I weren't a horse with a disability (horse first language please!), it's just that it would have taken longer for this relationship to happen. There was no time for wondering if I was going to be anything like Zoo was, no time for questioning if we were really the right fit for each other in terms of our personalities. No--uveitis is fast and detrimental. She needed to decide those things right away and has had to keep deciding with every new problem that arises (oh yes, believe me, there's quite the list after 2 years). How far are you willing to go for this new friend of 6 months? How much stress, sadness, and anxiety are you willing to accept in exchange for having me around? Does your answer depend on your relationship? On the length of time you've called me your friend? Maybe. I think for Spode it does.

Or maybe it depends on how much I make you laugh, Spode

So she made the decision then. The New Year started, and that was it. Any lengths. It was all or nothing for Spode. It has to be that way. Either you end the pain, or you do everything you can to ease it. Going halfway doesn't work. As soon as she started treating my eyes and looking into surgical options, our dynamic completely changed. I increasingly relied on her, and she gave her whole self in return. It was give and take though, because I gave back by trusting her and bonding with her. That's not to say our relationship is perfect and never tested. It's not, but there's something there that seems to underly every interaction now. We bounce back faster after our trials and tests. Today was a bit of a rough day, in fact, but we're both learning from each other constantly. As a teacher, I know Spode is thankful for all learning moments. It's always a teachable moment!

Having this disease and requiring those constant decision meant that Spode could move past some of her grief, because I needed her to stop holding back on me now that I was sick. Not that she was holding back on purpose, but if you're not completely needed, I don't think you necessarily put your whole heart into someone. Why would you--you don't know if it's worth the risk yet. It's a risk because there's always pain, and it means you're allowing yourself to grieve once more in a new way. Think about that, old sports. You hold back from someone new because you know exactly how painful it is to lose the person you care for. It takes a lot to put yourself at risk of going through that same process again. It's different with an animal as well, because we have shorter life spans than humans do. Pain is a certainty with us, not just a possibility. How do you lessen the pain? By not giving everything. If you hold back, that piece of you won't feel the impact of the pain. If you throw yourself into it, all of you is going to get hurt in the end.

That's pretty big, huh? It's why it takes so long to fall completely in love, usually. But if you have a disease like mine, everything goes into fast forward. And I've been lucky. I have been relatively pain free lately thanks to my eye implants. The progression of my disease changed substantially as a result. But all those little decisions along the way meant Spode had to reaffirm that she was 100% behind me. I'm thankful for my disease for doing that. For making her fall in love even more.

I'm thankful for my disease because I have a bond with Spode that means she can be gone for 2 weeks, hop on me with one eye blind and the other getting worse, and we can just go. That being said, it's trickier without her here all the time. Today's ride certainly reflected that. I am not as trusting of her as I was when she was around consistently, but it's all part of the same process and it's making us better. You need some tests to improve and refocus on the important parts. We both need remaining of what matters the most, sometimes.

It's not about the dressage all the time. It's about the journey you take and the partnership you build to get there. 

Holy moly, when did we grow up so fast? I'm looking pretty stocky here! Maybe I need to go on a weight loss regime...

We'll work on that later. For now I need to eat all these apples before the frost comes!!

I'm thankful for my disease for making Spode more aware of herself and how she interacts with me. I have not had the easiest of lives despite my young age. But I've got a friend for life because of it, special needs and all. I'm sure I've made her a better teacher because of it. Still, I doubt she'll be bringing that up in any teaching interviews... Just imagine! Even without explicitly talking about it though, we've both changed because of my eye issues, and more and more I'm "seeing" that it's a change for the better in every way. I never thought I'd be thankful for my inability to see clearly or my intermittent left eye sight. But I really am, in a way. We both are.

Love is blindness, indeed. And yes, I'm thankful for all those sympathy treats and hugs I get too! What, you didn't think was going to be entirely profound and thoughtful, did you? Give me a break--I am a horse, after all! Now leave me alone--I wasted precious grazing time by writing all that. Spode's back again next weekend. I need to build up my energy!

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.