"Well, I'm going to tell you something about my life. I don't want you to get the wrong idea of me from all these stories you hear."

“Look here, old sport,” he broke out surprisingly. “What’s your opinion of me, anyhow?” 

That is what Fitzgerald's Gatsby says to Nick while driving in his car. He wants to set the record straight. Why? Well because there are rumours aplenty surrounding dear old Gatsby.


“There’s something funny about a fellow that’ll do a thing like that,” said the other girl eagerly. “He doesn’t want any trouble with anybody.”

“Who doesn’t?” I inquired.

“Gatsby. Somebody told me ——”

The two girls and Jordan leaned together confidentially.

“Somebody told me they thought he killed a man once.”

A thrill passed over all of us. The three Mr. Mumbles bent forward and listened eagerly.

“I don’t think it’s so much that,” argued Lucille sceptically; “it’s more that he was a German spy during the war.”

One of the men nodded in confirmation.

“I heard that from a man who knew all about him, grew up with him in Germany,” he assured us positively.

“Oh, no,” said the first girl, “it couldn’t be that, because he was in the American army during the war.” As our credulity switched back to her she leaned forward with enthusiasm. “You look at him sometimes when he thinks nobody’s looking at him. I’ll bet he killed a man.”


Well, as I said. I too need to set the record straight due to some rumours that have just surfaced about little old me. 

"Um, Gatsby? I really don't think you can call yourself little. You're half Clydesdale. Little just doesn't apply to a horse like you." 

Be that as it may, I am just a child, old sports! Yet I have been slandered! You have to believe me: On no account, not ever, did I kick my vet. Nor did I do anything else to break her leg. I did not cause any harm to my vet. Er, well except perhaps emotional harm, as my eyes deeply upset her on more than one occasion... But that aside, I have never done anything to hurt her in the least. I definitely did NOT kick her and break her leg. So let's just stop that rumour, shall we? I don't even know what gave you that idea, old sports. Though whoever did probably does not read my blog, so I'm not sure this is very helpful. 

Anyway, I really would not hurt a fly. Not with a face as sweet as mine. 

I may be big boned but there's no mean bones in me. 

True, my size has sometimes led to some unfortunate accidents. I just about killed Spode when I was scared of the cart at my intro day, but I have never hurt anyone on purpose. I am not a bad horse and I know my manners. No biting vets, no kicking vets. The vets at Caledon didn't want me to leave I was so good! No more rumours about my behaviour please. I'm a good egg. I'm a West Egg! (Shout out to my literary peeps!)

Luckily that's pretty much the only rumour I've faced in my short life. Earlier there was suspicion that my uveitis is contagious and that my presence on the farm puts other horses at risk. This was made worse by the fact that my dear friend also succumbed to the disease and had to be put to sleep. 

Never forget. Striker was a good teacher and made a positive difference to Spode's life. Forever grateful <3

But uveitis is not contagious. Leptospirosis is contagious. Even then, it's not passed from horse to horse, but rather from wild animals or cattle and their urine (yeah, it's not very nice). If you live on a farm in these parts, it's possible that you will get leptospirosis and that could lead to equine recurrent uveitis like I have. It's sad but true. We live in a bad area for this disease. Ask your vet their thoughts on the lepto shot for cattle if you are concerned. (Yeah, I'm pretty smart for a horse, I know. But when you've been to as many vet appointments as I have and travelled to Ottawa and Toronto to see a specialist who flew here from Florida... you get to know things. Listen and learn, old sports!).

There may also be some misunderstandings about my disease in general, I know. I have not summarized it nicely since most of my blogs have been a play by play as it happened to me. I am not sure if my uveitis (AKA: ERU and Moonblindness) was caused by leptospirosis, but it's pretty likely. My uveitis was recurring every 3 weeks from December onward. These flare ups mean that my iris spasms due to swelling in the back of my eye. This swelling leads to a build up of fluid/pus in my eyes that makes sight difficult during a flare up, and eventually this can become permanent. Every time there is a flare up, there is a bit of irreversible damage. I have "floaters" (jelly-like floaties swimming around my eyes. Basically solidified fluid) and cataracts and scarring in both eyes as a result of the many flare ups I've had. My eyes have a blue tinge because of fluid that won't go away, and the whites of my eyes are usually red due to minor irritation--I've learnt to ignore it. I would say that I haven't had a flare up in a few months, though I definitely have more irritated days and weeks. It's not a full blown flare up. I have also had a few ulcers in one eye. Just bad luck. It is not related to my uveitis. 

Why does it happen? Because my white blood cells mistake the cells in my eyes to a foreign body and goes into attack mode. Yikes. Stupid white blood cells, seriously. When this attack happens, I start to swell. My iris constricts so my pupils are twenty tiny, and my vision goes cloudy. On one occasion, I lost sight in one temporarily, but thankfully after a wicked dose of steroids, I pulled through. 

That happened after my surgery. My surgery consists of cyclosporine discs in the tissue at the back of my eye. It slowly releases medicine and stops the white cell attack. Mostly. These discs contain medicine that is too toxic to be put in the front of my eye long term, so this is the solution. They will need to be replaced in 2-5 years. They have vastly improved my quality of life and saved my vision, at least for now. Crossing my hooves all the time. But they make me susceptible to other diseases by affecting my immune system, which explains my herpes. Hopefully nothing more serious hits me. It's tough being me, there's no doubt. 

But luckily for me, my uveitis is under control at the moment, which is more than can be said for other horses Spode has known. My vision is not perfect, but it's pretty good and good enough for me to live a normal life with a few extra precautions moving from light to dark. 

That's the truth about me and about my disease. The vets in my life have helped me enormously, so I got upset when I heard this latest rumour. I don't hurt vets or any people for that matter because they made my life better every time. Just like Fitzgerald's Gatsby, I don't want the people I'm close to to get the wrong impression of me or the nature of my disease. 

Now let's get back to the party!!

Carry on, old sports. Just had to speak up for a moment. Spode is busy at school teaching young people the dance of my time. The Charleston. Like this:

Bend your knees, kick up your feet, and twist!

Yeah, she's doing the jazz age. Next week she's showing a clip of the movie and debating historical accuracy. Yeah baby! I make a positive impact everywhere I go. Get ready, kids!

Until later, old sports.

Jay. 

Happy Thanksgiving, Old Sports!

Fall. It's a lovely time of year. My bleached summer coat is shedding out and my beautiful dark winter hair is growing in. The leaves are pretty, the sun is just the right temperature, and the grass is still sweet and green. I love the fall. I don't have to worry about being chilly or overheating. I am a happy horse. 

Life is good!

The other good thing about fall is thanksgiving. Why? Well, it's not about the food, since my meals are pretty much always identical except for my birthday. It's all about the family for me! And my family consists of Spode. Spode is home!!! She came home early so I was very surprised to see her on Wednesday.

Whoa! You scared me!!

I have spent a lovely few days with her and still have two more to go. Best week ever. I take back what I said, actually. Thanksgiving is at least in part about food--I got so many extra treats this week! Just for being me and being adorable, of course. 

Who could resist a face as cute as mine?

Spode has spent most of her time brushing me but we're also learning some new skills this week. I am going back to my roots and trying driving for the first time! Spode brought over all the harness on Wednesday and tried it on and adjusted it all. 

How am I lookin'? Oh, I'm looking fine!

The harness belongs to my old paddock neighbour Merlin. Merlin and I are surprisingly close to the same size so we didn't need to fiddle with too many of the buckles. 

It only took me a day to get used to the harness. The next day we tried our first ground driving session in the arena. 

I guess we're going to be having lots of bum shots from now on...

See? It's a good thing draft bums look so good. 

After that we tried going down the driveway and today she drove me around the field. 

Does this harness make my butt look big?

These blinkers are a bit annoying, but I can live with them. I can't live with these twisted lines though. Jeez, Spode! Pull yourself together! Sloppy, I tell you! My name is Gatsby. I expect a certain amount of class from you. 

I have done fabulously with all elements of my training, I have to say. I did not like the crupper very much, but I don't mind it anymore and I relax once it's on. The blinkers don't faze me at all. The only little issue we had occurred today. While we were out in the fields the kids drove up on their ATVs. Spode asked me to whoa and I said sure. I watched calmly as the first one went past me, but the second one looked different and I got scared. I admit, I sort of forgot about Spode. I tried to turn around and head for home, but Spode turned with me and held the lines in one hand while she reached around to hold my head. That gave me a shock! I spooked more at suddenly seeing Spode in front of me than I did the ATV. Darn blinkers! Still, I was glad to see her and I didn't move a muscle after that. I realized I had been a bit silly so Spode and I just carried on like nothing had happened and had a good training session in the sunset. Romantic, huh? Out for a little jaunt in the evening. You can drive! I really need a Yellow Rolls Royce to be just like Fitzgerald's Gatsby. Of course, then I might be setting myself up for disaster. If I run into Myrtle, we're all in trouble. And Spode would be driving just like Daisy. Oh no! Maybe I shouldn't be pulling a cart after all...My name is a bit fateful in that department. 

You may not be able to repeat the past, old sport, but that doesn't mean there's no such thing as fate. When you're named after an iconic tragic figure like The Great Gatsby, you have to consider these things. Spode could write you an essay on the topic if you wish. Or maybe she'll write a novel about me. 

Nevertheless, Spode and I have set the date, and as long as the weather cooperates, I'll be pulling hopping on the trailer back to my first home with Spode to try pulling a cart on Thanksgiving Monday! Spode tells me that there's a saying in the horse world that "green and green make black and blue." Since Spode is almost as green about driving as I am, we're hoping that the saying is not true in this case, but we'll have an expert driver to help us. And my old friend Merlin will let me know how it's done when I arrive, I'm sure. Spode and I are very excited! We're thankful for every new adventure we get up to. 

Aside from the work we've been doing getting ready for Monday, Spode and I have been hanging out, as usual. She goes on and on about how much happier she is at the barn compared to being in the city. She didn't have to say anything, I'm pretty sure we can all tell by the smile on her face! 

You make me smile too! Well, actually it's not you. It would probably be a bad thing if you made me smile like this, 'cause that would mean you smell, Spode!

We're just happy being us.

Because we love each other!

And because Spode is pretty much my servant girl and doesn't mind. It's nice to have someone dote on you like this. You should try it sometime! 

So it goes without saying that I am thankful for Spode this holiday season. I love my family. I love how goofy we are. For example, we've started this tradition where I donate to charities in Carleton Place. Look out for them in store windows, old sports.

Shoppers Drugmart, you've been christened! 

We started this tradition when we stopped at walmart on the way to Caledon for my eye surgery. Ever since then I've been leaving my mark. Although I think you could really say that everywhere Spode goes I leave my mark. I know the impact I have on her!

Since I'm on the topic of eyes, I should also say how thankful I am for my sight. It may not be perfect, but I can see well enough to live a normal life (aside from wearing the ridiculous looking mask) and I am grateful for that. T. J. Eckleburg would be thrilled (He's the oculist in The Great Gatsby, for those of you who don't know. And if you don't know--why not!? Read the book already!!). The ability to see is something you wouldn't necessarily think to be thankful for. I certainly never thought about it until I was first diagnosed with uveitis. Be thankful for every day you can see the sunrise, the girl you love, your friends and family, and the sunset. It's the little things like that that give us the opportunity to make our lives Great. 

Some slight goobers today on top of my everyday blueness, but the pupils are great! 

I am still off all my oral and topical meds and going strong. There's been no iris spasms for quite some time! I am thankful for being pain free at the moment--Spode is too! 

Old sports, thank you for being you and for being supportive of my journey with Spode and my journey to better health. It means a lot to us. I'd invite you to my parties any time! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your equines and other family members!

Until later, old sports.

Jay. 

16 Days and counting!

Well, old sports, 3 days flew by. I only just got used to having Spode all to myself again, and now she's gone back to Toronto. This is a tragedy. She's even more like Daisy now. I guess my green light is in Toronto. Yuck, I don't like the idea of that. Does the CN Tower have a green light? Do you think I can see it from my pasture?

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with Spode. It just wasn't long enough. I was happily bouncing back into the routine of daily visits when she whispered that she'd be going back to school for a few more weeks. Clearly my best efforts at being adorable did not work as I had planned. I figured if I kept pulling my smiley faces, she'd call up the university and tell them she'd changed her mind.

Are you watching? You see this? Do you? Can you cancel your train ticket now??

Alas, she told me this would never happen. I need surgery again in 4 years and she claims she needs a job to keep me. Ok, I guess I can sacrifice some of my time with her right now if it means a better life in the future.

Instead of trying to convince her to stay, I moved on to being as cute as equinely possible to cheer her up. I think I did a good job. I gave her the perfect 3 days, actually. On Friday I was a complete goof, on Saturday I was an expert driving horse showing off all my training, and today I was simply dashing. I just stood there proving how handsome I was. I think I've given Spode enough pictures to gaze at adoringly to get her through 16 more days in Toronto.

Look at Toronto, now back to me. Now back at Toronto, now back to ME! Do you wish Toronto could look like me? Well, if you come over here and hug me, your tiny cement room in Toronto could smell like me! 

Lucky Spode. She got a horse with good looks and a sense of humour!

Tell me the truth, Spode. Your heart is going twice as fast just looking at this photo, isn't it. 

And I bet your head is swimming with Fitzgerald's Gatsby quotations. 

Does Greenhawk want to make me their next cover boy?

I'm feeling so mature these days. Spode says that having a break from training's good for my mind as I now have some time to myself to find my inner horse and reflect on what I've learnt. I certainly have a lot of time for absent minded reflection. I also have a lot more time for eating, of course. I have put on quite a bit of weight since Spode stopped exercising me. That's made me more mature too. I'm just a wee bit slower. My excuse to Spode when she wagged her finger at the extra weight around my extra girth was that I just wanted to giver her some more horse to hug. Worked like a charm. I even got a second apple for that line.

This face may have helped, too. 

Spode bought me a pretty new halter to match a dress she's wearing for some special event soon. I guess this means another photo op down the road, so I'm practicing presenting my devilish good looks. I don't have to try very hard.

Classic. 

I even look good with a sand moustache!

Of course, I don't have to be regal looking all the time. There was still room for some of my silly antics. I think Spode would be disappointed if I didn't! 

I'll take this, thank you very much. 

Let me make my crooked stripe even more crooked. You know you love it. 

Yeah, we made the best out of a rainy day. Spode says she will be much more focused on training the next time out. She drove my old friend Merlin through town yesterday for a wedding. He pulls a big old carriage and struts his way through CP making everyone gasp in awe. I guess this has inspired Spode to get in touch with my Clydesdale genes, because she's decided to teach me to drive too. I won't be doing any weddings, but she's got a training cart and harness lined up and plans in her mind. I think it was only a matter of time. Who knows, it could be fun. If there are treats involved, almost anything can be made fun!

I even look good with this stupid mask. That takes skill, old sports! Not just any horse can pull this off!

So although my weekend with Spode was far too short, it was well worth it. Spode has almost a whole week off the next time she comes, so she promises there will be more time spent with me. I can't wait. 

Until later, old sports.

Jay. 

I get back-logged treats, right?

Spode is home! That was the longest three weeks of my life, old sports. I gotta tell you, I was kind of annoyed when she first showed up. She called me over and I just looked at her and then went back to my grass. She laughed and said, "is this some kind of silent treatment, Gatsby?" Yeah, you bet it is! How could you leave me for a city! Meanie. I figured Spode might walk over to me, but no dice. Eventually I couldn't resist anymore so I came over to her. Okay, I missed you and I can't hide it--welcome home, Spode!! Now where's my apple?

Spode's pockets did not disappoint, and after I had my treats and she had her hugs and kisses, we headed to the barn.

Right back to routine, huh?

Spode started working on my very sun burnt, bleached, dirty coat. She was most frustrated by my mane. 

Haha! Looks neat and tidy doesn't it? But it annoys Spode to no end that it's on the wrong side! All a ploy. 

After a decent grooming and a whole lot more kisses, we went to the arena for some play time. 

Can't you just let me stand here instead of running?

Or we could just hang out, you know.

We did end up hanging out quite a bit. I also played follow the leader with Spode. I like to see her trot too. She's too slow for me though! I kept getting ahead of her once we had been running for a bit.

After a while, she stopped and I discovered a smelly spot. It made for a good photo op, and I think I totally made Spode's week by being so goofy. You're welcome, Spode!

Do I have the world's best smile or what? I have quite the toothy grin. 

Say cheese! 

Once Spode stopped giggling, we went out for some more hang out and running around time in the sand ring. 

Spode also wanted to see the Gypsy Vanner baby. Um, Spode! Hello! Yeah, I suffer from equine jealousy... 

It's not that I want to play with Spode. I just like to know she's there, ya know?

I did a bit of running too. Only one buck today!

Maybe one day I can be a jumper!

Or maybe not...

After all that, Spode and I just hung out in the barn for a bit longer, just enjoying each other's company. Three weeks was far too long, and a huge adjustment after seeing her everyday for 4 months. I'm a happy horse.

We're both very happy that today is my first day off oral anti-inflammatories. My eyes still have a bluish tinge, but they've been great. My pupils are constricting and dilating normally. I'm still on some stomach meds but by this time next week, I will be getting nothing but plain grain for the first time in forever. It's an exciting time for us!! It's been a long time coming.

When I was sick all the time, Spode used to ask herself, "why me?"  So soon after losing Zoodles to a seemingly endless barrage of illness and hoof diseases, she bought another horse who then succumbed to a bunch of different health problems that also piled on top of each other. She wondered why she was being challenged in this way. I wondered why too, but not for the same reasons as Spode. I wondered why I was so lucky to fall into the hands of this kid who would probably sell her own organs if it meant she could make my life even a tiny bit better. Why me? How did I start out as a practically nameless horse in a pen and turn into someone's whole world? I don't ask why I got uveitis because we all struggle with one health problem or another in our lives. That is guaranteed. What is not guaranteed is love. That goes for love of any kind. Only the lucky truly get to love and be loved in their lives.  For horses, the difference between those who are loved and those who aren't is more stark than in the human world, I believe. If you are a horse who is not loved, your chances of being abused, neglected, or killed are much more likely. I know this. We all know this. The fact that Spode just drove up to my paddock from out of nowhere is astounding to me. How did that happen, and why? That's what I wonder about, because getting an autoimmune disease and receiving the treatment for it is one of the best things that could happen to a horse, really. When you look at the horse world and see all the terrible things that can happen to my fellow equines, I am the lucky one. She didn't give up on me. That's my "why me?" question. It's all about how you look at the world. I don't have the clearest vision anymore, but that doesn't stop me from seeing the sun and feeling the love. I am the luckiest horse.  And I am so happy to be with Spode again after this long break. I think it's a good sign that she came home on day one off meds since my surgery. Maybe it's a sign that it's time for a new chapter that doesn't revolve around my eye sight. We're hoping.

I was pretty sad to see Spode go today. I didn't want to let her leave, but she promises we have two more days together before she heads back to school. It's not nearly long enough, but it's better than nothing!

I'm just going to keep following you and herding you away from the gate until you get the picture that I'd like you to stay, Spode. Please?

Until later, old sports.

Jay. 

"You always look so cool"

Alas, alas! The summer has come to an end. Did you know that that is how The Great Gatsby ends? The leaves start falling into the swimming pool and Fitzgerald's Gatsby clings to the idea of the summer (and, surprise surprise, Daisy) by taking a final dip in the pool, another sign that he is clinging to the unreachable past. And then... 

Oh, I just can't. The ending of The Great Gatsby always makes me cry, and if I start crying, Spode will call the vet in a panic thinking I'm going blind again from my uveitis. Let's ignore that part of the novel, shall we?

God damn it, Spode, my eyes are fine I tell you! I'm just a bit emotional at the moment!

Anyway, I am feeling a bit melancholy and would like to take a dip in the pool if only I didn't have extreme premonitions about swimming pools thanks to Fitzgerald's Gatsby's bad experience. (What was that noise? I could never relax in a pool. I also may not be able to find one big enough). Instead I have been clinging to the final days of summer by having a long, luxurious bath (complete with an oatmeal rinse--Spode pampers me like no one else). After this bath, I proceeded to get grass stains all over my stockings. Spode was annoyed, but what else says summer like green splodges on your knees and hocks?

This is the best part of baths, no? The slower to dry, the better!

Aren't I handsome, old sports?

Or maybe this is the best part of a bath?

Life is good. 

The other summery thing we did was go on a hack. This made Spode's year, I'm pretty sure. She sang and talked to me the whole time. I was called Superman on more than one occasion. Talk about the highlight of the year! It was my first time going out alone but I acted like I've done it for years. Spode loves to ride alone--one of her favourite things to do, so the fact that I also love it has pleased her a lot. I foresee a lot of solo hacks in our future.

So relaxed, Spode can take photos. No texting and riding, kid. 

Today was our last ride of the summer. It is either ride number 30 or 31. Spode sort of lost count, and now she is going to stop counting anyway. I won't be ridden again until December at the earliest. It's time for my holidays. I have a work schedule that's opposite compared to everybody else: I work all summer and get the rest of the year off.

I expected a ride like any other, but that was not what happened. It started off very well. I stood nicely while Spode got on, we had a nice walk while I looked over at our new arrival at the farm:

Ain't he cute? His name is Camelot. He is quite distracting in a paddock next to the ring!

When I was focused I had my trots and then Spode said, "Ok. Time to try something new for our final ride... CANTER!" At first I said no, but after a few attempts I finally agreed. I made Spode's year, I think.

I can do it, I can do it!

Spode was so pleased with me. I got lots of hugs and treats and pats. Spode's face hurt from smiling so much. What a great end to the summer.  

Spode and I said our goodbyes after a bath. The last thing she said to me was "You always look so cool."  For my literary friends, that's what Daisy says to Gatsby to say that she loves him. I am feeling the love today. Miss you, Spode! Promise I'll be good! (Cough, cough. I was crossing my hooves when I said that!)

Until later, old sports! Spode's mum is going to come out to see me so maybe I'll have time to blog when that happens. We'll see. As I said, I'm on holidays now so I might not be typing as much!

Jay.