Not Getting Away With It.

Okay, Old Sports--Sometimes a horse has gotta be honest, so here goes: despite my name, I was not great this weekend.

It started off well.  Spode came and chillaxed with me on Thursday night and we had our usual good time catching up together.  Friday was a little bit more eventful though.  Like a typical Canadian, I'll blame it all on the weather.

Spode came to the gate and I wouldn't come--that's a bad sign for both of us.  I always come to the gate and we both know it.  Truth is, I was trying to come up with a contingency plan because I was ashamed of my dirty side.

Here goes...

As I got closer, Spode began to groan.

There's no hiding the fact that I really enjoyed a day at the mud spa today...

Yeah, my whole side was covered.  Spode wasn't too impressed, and I wasn't looking forward to standing in the cross ties all that time to get it off.

Do as both a favour and just look at this side of me!

No such luck, so Spode started leading me to the gate.  I stopped halfway there and refused to go any further.  So Spode and I had our first stubborn argument.  She out stubborned me eventually, but it was a decent argument.  It was just so muddy and difficult to walk in, I didn't want to go! I learned my lesson: it's easier to listen to Spode than it is to fight her.  She may be small and she sure slides around easily when it's muddy out, but she's quick to stop my antics before I get the upper hoof.  Aw shucks.

I had ants in my pants in the barn and just would not stand still, so Spode decided to let me run in the arena.  See, I hadn't been able to run around in my paddock due to the half-frozen mud, and I had energy to spare.  I did manage to get Spode to laugh, but then I was very sweaty and Spode and I had a lot of walking to do to cool me down.  And I still didn't have the patience to stand still in the barn.  Sorry Spode.

Saturday was much better.  I came to the gate right away in the middle of a snow storm.

Oh yay! You've come to rescue me!

I got brushed a lot and didn't have to do any work in the arena because it was busy. Excellent! 

It's still not very easy to walk in here, Spode!

Spode mostly just hung around and watched me in the snowflakes.  I was toasty warm thanks to my Clydesdale genes. Not like my poor friend Striker who shivers as soon as anyone mentions the word snow.  He's wrapped up in blankies 24/7.  I gather Spode kind of enjoys that, so it's a win-win for them. Spode is rather annoyed that Striker managed to rip her blanket in one day though.  

I'm turning into a Blanket Appaloosa! 

Striker likes to catch snowflakes with his tongue!

Now, today I was also full of beans, but I started off well.  I came over to her and she attempted to groom the mud off me that had flash frozen before her eyes when I crashed through a puddle and suddenly had a mud splatter up to my knees where I had previously been spotless.  Nothing worked to get that frozen mud off-curries, towels, brushes... nothing.  It looked like I had two black legs.  I also jingled when I walked thanks to the frozen mud balls in my feathers.  I could be in a parade! 

Spode let me in the arena to get rid of some beans again, and all seemed to be going well until she decided to call it a day and bring me back out.  My lead rope was frozen, so she had to breathe on it before she could lead me out.  I got a wee bit impatient and nipped her jacket.  Oh boy.  That was the wrong decision.  Spode chased me away and made me run and run until I stopped being disrespectful by kicking out in her direction as I was tearing along.  We did join up and I followed her around like I knew I was supposed to. Yeah, Spode wins again.  I kept out of her space after that and didn't try to nip again.  Sheesh. 

I'll try to be a little more respectable next weekend, but no guarantees! It was so cold and windy, I just wanted to run and get on with my day! 

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.

Wormer, Sweat, and Tears

I had a reasonably good weekend, Old Sports, but I had to work far too hard! I actually sweated.  My pores can't even handle that nonsense.  And I never thought Spode would be so cruel as to force me to  perspire! It messes up my armpit hair.  TMI? Sorry, Old Sport.  I never was good at keeping things to myself.  Nor was Fitzgerald's Gatsby, for that matter...

Anyway, it was hard work for me this weekend.  Friday was okay though.  Just as Spode was getting ready to take me into the arena to do some work, someone took their horse in there to ride.  Phew! That was lucky!  Instead Spode worked on ground tying and teaching me to back up with just the word (It's not that I don't understand, Spode, I just don't want to).  She also gave me a lesson in bridling to teach me to pick up the bit by myself.  Now that didn't take long to learn! I quickly figured out that I got food if I just picked up the bit.  Spode was pleased.  She was doubly pleased when I remembered the next day.  She no longer has to get her fingers slobbery, and I no longer need to taste her slobbery fingers.  Win-win, Old Sports.  

Standing here sure beats working in the arena! Yeah, I'll stand for ya Spode.

Spode spent a lot of her time this weekend with Striker, much to my dismay.  But he told me he was feeling really sore so I guess that's okay.  Spode made him feel a lot better.  I'm a bit jealous, actually. Spode gave him warm epsom salt baths and coronet massages all weekend, plus bute and turpentine painting sessions.  Striker was feeling downright pampered by today.  He tells me he's still not quite right but he looks a lot better. We hate the mud.  

Spode still found plenty of time for me on Saturday, which was my busy day.  We did everything! We had a long ground driving session, we did trot poles, and we did follow the leader at liberty in the arena.  It was tough.

Spode, I'm pooped.

Please don't make me go again! Maybe if I stare at the pole long enough it will disappear...

It wasn't without its fun moments though, I admit.  I discovered pylons....

Nom nom nom

I'm teething... I love to do this with my grain bucket too.  I even suck on it sometimes just to amuse Spode. 

I'm warning you, Spode.  If you make me trot anymore I'm gonna throw this pylon at you! 

Just when I thought we were done for the day, Spode took me out for a cross country run.  WHAT!? Yeah, all that definitely made me sweat! (I think Spode might have too...).  I got to have a cross country munch at the end of it all, so that was nice at least.  And oh man did I enjoy my roll after all that work! 

Oh my god we stopped.  Thank you.  I'm so tired!

Oh, grass! Yay.  I forgive you now. 

Spode sat on the fence and watched me eat and roll after that.  I was filthy.  Take that, Spode! Unfortunately, she still got the last laugh in the end because today was worming day.  Oh boy.  Let me refresh your mind about what happened last time Spode wormed me.  I willing let her insert the tube in my mouth, but refused to swallow the paste.  She kept my head up in the air and I managed to contort my tongue enough that I shot almost all the paste onto the floor.  Spode said she's never seen a horse do that.  She came thinking she was prepared for my tongue gymnastics this time.  Almost, but not quite.  Once again, I let her put the tube in my mouth, and she tried to squirt back as far as she could.  She again held my head up and I even had to swallow some of it.  Just when she thought she won, I let out a glob of paste that went flying a good three feet in front of us.  Spode had to laugh.  I have horses lining up to learn my secret now.  Yeah, it's a skill.  I'll put it on my resume. 

Spode did get the last laugh this time though because she scraped the glob off the floor onto her hand, and suddenly thrust her arm in my mouth and literally wiped it on my tongue.  Blech! Ok, I wasn't expecting that... You win for now...  I have until Spring to perfect my skills!

That was on top of a bad start to my day because Spode brought Striker in first to take care of his feet and dry him off so he could wear his blankie (sheesh, what a wimp that horse is!).  She's never brought him in before me.  I didn't like it one bit.  Spode actually had to chase me away! It was terrible! She said I was scaring Striker by trying to get between them and that I couldn't come in at the same time, and I would just have to wait my turn.  She made me cry big clydesdale sized tears over this.  So unfair.  That's my Spode!! And then she had the nerve to worm me after that! Ugh. 

How could you do that to this face? Have you no heart!? 

All I can hope is that next weekend is better! Sheesh. I'll be crossing my hooves!

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.

How to be Obstinate and Get Away With It: An Equine's Guide

Good evening, Old Sports.  Sorry for the delay.  I was partying. You don't understand how difficult it is to keep up with my namesake.  It's exhausting, I tell you.  But I won't complain too much.  It's a bit passé, I believe, to complain about too many parties.

I neglected to tell you about my weekend once again.  Spode has been hogging the computer for essays and such, so my hooves haven't had much of a chance to type it all up.  Sheesh, if you think I complain, you should hear Spode go on about her essays.  Anyway, let's forget about our whining an move on to the fun horsey times we had.

Well, sort of fun.  Spode was a bit annoyed with me initially because I was obstinate.  Yes, intentionally so.

It was partially the weather you know.  I just wanted to hang out in the snow, but Spode insisted on bringing me inside and playing.  Far too much effort on a blustery day.  I'd rather watch the snowflakes from my shelter. But treats.

Your food...it's just too magnetizing! 

Yeah, yeah. There's snow in my lashes and it's pretty. Can ya make with the food now?

I admittedly enjoyed my nibbles, but then I heard some hoofbeats behind me. Oh boy...

Old Sport, this is soooo good! Wait, do you hear someone?

Seriously?! Ugh, didn't take him long to adopt my treat lady...

#$&@ off, Striker!

No, seriously. I mean it! Don't you dare come over here with your cute as a button face that we all know Spode can't resist! Damn your fuzzy ears! Damn them!!

Hey, you shut your adorable nose that nobody on the farm can resist petting!  You get more treats than I do, and I'm just as cute as you!!

Spode: "Stop arguing, I have plenty." "Ugh, fine..."

"You took my treats."  "No, you took my treats."  "You know this means war." "Bring it, shorty"

Yeah, Strikes and I have some competition.  But don't let the pictures fool you, I actually like the dude.  And Spode knows it.  The barn manager told her that we're getting along great.  In fact, we've buddied up already and Striker whinnies for me when Spode takes me away.  The barn manager is super happy because she called us loners, and she likes to see the loners hang out with each other.  Sheesh-a social outcast at 2 years old.  It's not my fault.  I'm just way too dignified to play with the rest of the herd and get involved with their silly thoroughbred hijinks. Barn manager told Spode that she let the rest of the boys out in the morning, and explained that I just stood there while everyone else galloped around like loonies.  Who has the energy for galloping before breakfast!?

Spode was a bit annoyed that I also used that excuse in our training this weekend.  We did some ground-driving again for the first time in quite a while, and every time Spode said "good boy," I stopped.  This made for a rather frustrated Spode and exasperations that "good" does not equal "whoa."  Well why not?
Pro tip 1 for being obstinate and getting away with it: be adorable.  Always make sure that your obstinance is positive.  For example, stopping when she says good boy.  It's annoying, but also cute because you're just taking her training to the extreme.  She usually stops me and says good boy, so just make the connection.  She can't blame you for it, since it's technically her doing.  Voila!

Spode was also less than impressed with my trot poles this weekend.  I just didn't particularly feel like it.  I was a wee bit lazy, sure.  I made Spode work hard, especially to stop me from eating the hay at one end of the arena.  I let Spode win in the end (Pro tip 2: always let them win in the end to be obstinate and get away with it) and then she began to put away all the poles.

Pro Tip 3: Pretend to be helpful, but don't help at all.  Every time Spode decided to lift a trot pole, I too put my nose down and nudged it.  I also rolled one with my hoof.  I lipped them while she walked, and I followed it with my nose, bumping the end of it while she walked and slotted them back into storage.  Hello adorable! It made her almost forget my obstinance entirely.  All I had to do was pretend to be helpful! The craziest thing about this, is if Spode actually thought about it, she would see that I was the exact opposite.  I made it harder for her to pick up poles and move them because I was pushing them too and she had to watch out for me.  Humans.  So gullible.  I also picked up the lunge whip and waved it around to make her laugh.  At this point, I was well on my way to earning my full allotment of treats despite not being very well behaved.

Pro Tip 4: Play the puppy dog card.  When the arena was all cleared, Spode decided to do some liberty work with me.  She started walking away from me, then stopping, walking, stopping.  I quickly figured out the game. She then did the same thing at a run, so I trotted along beside her.  We even did backing up that way.  All I had to do was follow her around, and since I had no halter, she thinks any hint of obedience is brilliant.  So easy to please and required so little effort.  That mirroring game was the clincher, I realized.  I acted perfectly just as if she was leading me, and just like that, I found myself with a full handful of treats to end the day.
So, my Old Sports of the equine variety, take heed: be obstinate all you want, but make sure you have a back up plan to make your owner fall for your adorableness.  It's super easy if you're as handsome as I am--half the battle is won already!

Mission accomplished.  

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.

Back off and get your own treat-lady, Striker!!

So, a new guy arrived at the barn, and for some reason he's got Spode's attention...and my treats.  So not cool.

Spode arrived late on Thursday and used a flashlight to scout me out, and even then she was searching for this horse named Striker.  I had to wait to get my treats until he came over--such a drag. I was happy to see that she left him behind after that and took me into the barn by myself.  We had a pleasant time.  Or at least I did.  My entire right side was coated hoof to ears in mud.  Happy Thursday, Spode!

After she groomed me as best as she could, she let me out and I wandered off.  I figured she was peacing out for the night, but no!! She went and got Striker! I snorted and trotted over to express my opinion on the matter: Striker, back off and get your own child!

Alas, it didn't help.  She brought him into the barn and groomed him just like she did for me.

Good grief, now he's even taking over my blog!!

Today I got Spode for the most part because I had farrier trim #4.  I was a little fidgety, I admit.  But not too bad.  My feet are still looking hot, and the cracks are getting a little better.  Yay good hooves! I got Striker beat there. 

After she let me out, Spode brought Striker in again. Ugh.  When she let him back out again, I stared her down watching to see how many treats he got.  She tried to hide her hand behind her back, but I know he got a few.  Not fair.  I'll starve!

You can't lie to me, Spode.  Look into my eyes.  You're so cruel!

Still, I have to admit that this Striker fellow ain't such bad company.  He's a pretty fun guy because he's laid back like me. 

I'll fight you for her, Striker!

We also enjoyed playing a joke on Spode.  It was a team effort:

Good day, My name is Striksby. Whose bum is that anyway??

Hahaha! Fooled ya!

Okay, maybe this winter won't be so horrible after all.  Striker and I can share Spode for a short while, just so long as I get my fair share of treats (Or more than my fair share.  That's okay too!)

Tomorrow's schedule is more trotting poles, which I quite enjoy.  In a couple weeks Striker and I will be going out together for something called "ponying".  Huh.  But neither of us are ponies so...???

 Until later, Old Sports.

Jay (and Striker!).

It's Windy, and Suddenly the Entire World is Out to Get Me

And consequently, I can't possibly walk towards the barn.  Who knows what scary monster is waiting in there? And there are tarps blowing, the wind is howling, hay bales are moving, tractors are making noise, the arena is slapping... It's a big scary world out there, Old Sports.

Yeah, it was a little windy today.  Actually a lot windy.  And I hate the wind.  So many smells to take in, I just can't focus and my brain turns to mush. That's just for regular wind, so you can imagine what today's gusts did to my mental state.

I made it about twenty feet outside my gate, and then I promptly did a lovely pirouette (just for you, kiddo), reared, and ran away.  Spode couldn't keep up, and thus I was a loose horse.  Not for long because I stopped right outside the gate.  I figured it would help Spode get the message-"please mum! Let me back in with my buddies!" But no, Spode tried again and we had a few arguments.  I won today because Spode literally only had 10 minutes to spend at the barn before she had to get Striker ready for a show (a what? What's this now?).  Yeah, Spode gave up.  As she let me back in my field she told me it was a one time deal, and next time she would purposefully come out when the wind is howling and make me behave like a decent gentleman and actually make it into the barn.  Yeah, right. You just go ahead and think that...

Anyway, that was today's adventure.  Yesterday was very dull because Spode was waiting to take me in the arena and let me loose, but it wasn't available the whole time she was there.  We decided to play tug of war with a curry comb instead.

 

I won again!! Oh Spode, I so have you under my thumb-er, hoof.

I also neglected to update my blog when I was allowed outside again for the first time. It was uneventful, but I was so happy!  My stifle is feeling much better but still a little sticky.

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.