I'm Too Gorgeous For My Own Good.

Seriously, mum?  I thought we were done with dress up.  Argh.  Hide me.

Oh, but it gets worse.  The other day she also played with my hair! I can't believe this girl. All this fuss. I am not a Breyer, I tell you.  I am not!

I hate my life.

She said it was all part of the process.  She wanted to see what I would be like to braid.  Apparently I'm going to have to do this a lot in life.  In fact, she said her goal for next year is to take me to a small show or fair and enter a showmanship class so I can learn the ropes for the future.  Apparently showmanship is about leading.  I protested this goal by trying to spin and run away when we were headed back to the paddock.  Today I even added an attempt to rear to the mix.  She was not thrilled.  I had to give in both times though, so she's still adamant that I'm going to venture out next year and see what a show is like.  Shucks.  Gotta try harder.  I'm too gorgeous for my own good--that's the problem.  How can she resist taking me out in public with a face like this?

Oh baby! Even I want to take that face to a show!

She might also want to take me to a show so that she can buy me my very own bridle.  I don't know...

Spode was pretty happy with me today (ok, aside from my mini rear) because I left my hair in her braids.  She promised to take them out tomorrow.  I'm beginning to feel rather effeminate with my white braided hair and my pink suit of a fly mask. And everyone on the highway can see me! 

In other news, Spode is still adamant that I stand for fly spray. How annoying.  She also insisted that I stand still to be measured and weighed from now on.  The result: still 16.2 hands and 1050 lbs.  Spode says I'm a whole 6 inches bigger than her previous horse (I'll have to write a post about everything else I've learned about him, too) but he was sometimes 200 lbs heavier than me. Phew. 

Spode has a week off this week so she promised she'd spend even more time with me.  Can't wait.  The reason I didn't want to go back to the paddock for the past two days is because it's SO BORING.  Spode is good company.  I like learning new things.  Maybe if I had a horse buddy I'd feel differently. Apparently that's coming! I'm moving next month and will have some horse friends.  Finally.

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

If You Just Wanted to Play Dress Up, Maybe you Should Have Gotten a Breyer Model.

You know, I'm beginning to think that the only reason Spode decided to keep me was in order to play dress up. Also, this is the problem with behaving.  It means that you have to do more things the next day. Can't a guy get a break around here?

Yeah, so Spode arrived earlyish today because she wanted lots of time to play with me.  Never a good sign.  We went through our usual grooming routine, plus Spode made me stretch my front feet out in front of me to practice for my next foot fairy day.  Not too bad so far.  But then she brought out the big guns: a saddle.

My next door neighbour Merlin told me all about the saddle one day, because he was laughing about how Spode could barely get his "girth" done up because of his extra weight.  The saddle is used for the humans to sit on us.  I was a little nervous of this.  Spode said before that she wouldn't sit on me until next August at the earliest, so why does she want to put a saddle on me!?

Spode can practically read my mind at this point, and she likes to talk. A lot.  So she explained that I have to wear a saddle to see what it feels like while she can still reach my back easily.  She said that I will keep growing and she'd rather deal with an issue now than in a year from now when I'm even more of a giant.  I think she means when I fit into the "Great" part of my full name.

Right now, she sees this from her point of view:

Ok, I can see her point.

Anyway, so she put that funny saddle pad on my back again and then let me smell a saddle all over.  That was all okay, as was putting it on my back.  The girth was pretty scary though.  It jingles.  It does not suit my jazz age music.  Do they have jazz girths?
I also didn't like it dangling down near my legs, but Spode told me to stand still and ignore it, so eventually I did.  She went around to my other side and brought the girth around me.  Huh.  Not so scary after all.  She tightened it slowly and I didn't make a move (told ya I know how to make her day).

I borrowed Merlin's girth.  I cannot believe how fat my neighbour must be if it didn't fit him! 

So, saddles are not too bad! I was pleasantly surprised.  Maybe this packing around humans thing won't be so bad either... Or so I thought.  Unfortunately because I was so good and didn't bat an eye about moving around with a saddle on my back, Spode decided to add to the dress up game by putting jumping boots on my front legs.  Ick.  I didn't like those very much.  Tried hard to get them off but to no avail.  And then I refused to move with them on because they felt funny.  Spode said "fine, just stand there then" and went and got another thing out of the dress up room.  A bridle.  Also Merlin's. Merlin didn't tell me about this part though.  Spode came over with it and stood beside me.  She opened my mouth, and before I knew it, I had a bit in my mouth.  It was not the most comfortable thing in the world.

What have you done to me!? I cannot move. 

I chewed and chewed but I could not break it.  Argh.  Spode kept feeding me treats but I had to mush them with my front teeth in order to eat them! How does she expect me to eat with metal in my mouth!?

Spode ignored my chewing and told me that I should go outside.  That meant moving my feet.  I had to take GIGANTIC steps to get out of the barn.  Stupid boots. Once I got outside I realized I could take normal steps, which was a big relief (for Spode too, it seems). The bit was still annoying though. 

Blech. Tastes of Merlin.

 I managed to ignore it eventually and even figured out how to eat grass with it in to a certain extent. Life isn't so bad.  I'm still convinced Spode just likes having me around to dress me up, because she wouldn't stop trying to get me to stand still so she could snap a picture. 

Why must you drag me away from the grass? If you really loved me...

After she had had her fill of photos (I unfortunately did not have my fill of grass.  Hmph.) we went back to the barn and she removed her game of dress up.  Except she left on the front boots and put on hind boots as well, which REALLY sucked. 

Seriously? Did you put these on just so you could take a photo, AGAIN?!

 Now hind boots are hard to walk with.  I had to take extra gigantic steps out of the barn this time.  When I was allowed to eat grass again I stood like a flamingo for a while, but it didn't help.

Oh for the love of Fitzgerald, get it off!!

Only when I walked normally and stopped holding up my legs did Spode bring me back in and take them off.  Ah, relaxation at last.  Unfortunately, she then said, "come on Gatsby. Fly spray time."  I warned her.  Yesterday I was good but today I put my foot down and said enough with the spray again.  She still got it on me everywhere but I made her fight for it.  Sadly she's not one to give up, so I guess I lost that battle anyway.  We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

Gatsby's Tip of the Day.

Spode was trying hard to be calm when she came to see me this evening, but I could tell she was frustrated about something.  She said, "Oh Gatsby.  Please be good today. I don't want another fight."  Hmm.  Yeah, she was serious.  I put my head down and smelled her.  Calmer already.  Ok.  Here's my tip: know when you can be silly and get away with it, and know when your owner is serious and tired! Yep, I decided there would be no silliness today at all.  My gift to Spode.  Just this once...

So I put my head in the halter, which I hardly ever do.  I like to make Spode stretch her arms.  She works for therapeutic riding and I know she makes her riders stretch--only fair to make her do it too!
But no stretching today.  Break time for her.

I led nicely to the barn, turned around and stood in the cross ties.  Then I did something really special for her.  She picked up my first foot easily, and when she put it down, guess what I did... I lifted up my next foot before she even asked for it.  Ta da! Spode's day was made. She was so excited.  Once again, I must stress how silly and simple minded humans are.  Can you imagine a horse getting so excited about lifting a leg?  No, you cannot.  It's called horse sense for a reason.

Anyway, so Spode rubbed me all over and fed me treats galore (talk about a win-win). I lifted up each hoof before she asked for it and voila! Spode's stress dissipated.

Well, most of it.  I have a bump on my black leg (my thoroughbred leg?) and Spode is worried about it.  She thinks it might be what she calls a splint.  It actually made her pace.  See? I told you she's a crazy thoroughbred at heart!  But there's nothing we can do and she knows that.  Perhaps that's what bothered her.  She calmed down eventually, hoping that maybe it isn't a splint.  Hmm, we'll see.  I don't know what it is either.

I decided to make her happy again by standing still for fly spraying.  Yep, I sure know how to win a girl's heart.  Spode has been rather frustrated because I let her friend Breanna do it when she was here, but I haven't let her since.  Today was the day.  Yeah, I'm a good horse.  It was another win-win.  More treats for me.

She pat me lots and put my pink ear suit back on, and let me back out.  All I can say is, don't get used to it, Spode.  When you're not feeling so tired and frustrated by other horses' behaviour, I'll be back to my silly self.  She'll appreciate that just as much, I'm sure.

 Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.

Pedicures, Spa Days, and Now Different Coloured Shirts!

“I’ve got a man in England who buys me clothes. He sends over a selection of things at the beginning of each season, spring and fall.” (Chapter 5!)

I'm as pampered as my namesake now.  I had a pedicure today.  Hmm, I wonder if Fitzgerald's Gatsby ever had one of those? Must have. 

Anyway, it was quite scary.  The guy came in and pat me but he smelled like...feet.  It was a little weird.  Then he brought in all these metal things.  He had a stand that I didn't like.  It was big and looked sharp.  No thanks.  I wanted a pedicure, not an amputation!

The foot fairy's name (or is farrier?) was Jesse.  He was gentle but persistent and wouldn't let me lean all my weight on him so I can get my foot back.  It works on Spode because she's not so strong, but the foot fairy is a lot better at it than Spode.  He won.  He clipped off my toes but that was all I would let him do in the front.  He kept trying to get my foot forward so he could use a big nail file on me, but I said no.  He tried for a while but eventually he said he didn't want to stress me too much so we should try it again next time.  Spode promised to work on having my foot up and forward.  Oh joy, another thing to look forward to.

Anyway, so Spode was slightly disappointed that my feet weren't made beautiful right away, but she was pleased with my behaviour.  They are much better! The foot fairy will be out again in 4 weeks to try and get them better and correct my deformed hind feet.

Before

Before

Before

After

After

Right Hind After

Left Hind After

Front Left After

 Ahhh.  Feels so much better.  The foot fairy said that aside from the strange way my feet have grown with no care or attention, I have very good quality hooves.  They're big, strong, and healthy looking.  Just what we want.  I can thank my clyde side for my feet!!

Spode! Get over here and clean up this mess!

Ok, so that was my pedicure.  After that I tried on some clothes. First, what Spode called a saddle pad.  She threw it all over me: my neck, my head, my butt, and then my back.  Silly girl.  I was a little worried at first but relaxed when I realized Spode was doing her usual silly stuff.  She likes dressing me up, it seems.

Ok, I don't care.  Now can you please take it off until next year?

 Next up was a blanket, which was much scarier.  I backed up to the end of the barn as soon as Spode brought it out, but she kept following me around until I stood.  I still wouldn't let her get it on my back so eventually she gave in and put me in my stall.  Then I knew I had no choice but to stand still while she threw it on.  I was fine with that, and she told me I was silly.  Yeah, we both have each other figured out, I guess.  It's my colour, so I eventually agreed to wear it.  We'll go with that.  It was hot and it might a funny scratchy sound when I moved.  Still, not a big deal.  I just hope I don't have to wear it too much! I've heard that my Spode is addicted to blankets...

The Green Light is all around me!

Spode took me out to eat some grass in a different paddock.  I was scared of a noise in a tree coming from something I couldn't see.  I ripped the rope right out of Spode's hand and took off.  She was not happy with me.  I shouldn't have done that.  It just meant that she spent 20 minutes making me stand perfectly still with my butt to the scary stuff.  More work.  Sigh.  Also, I learned that she is pretty fast and can keep up with me at the canter for short periods of time.  Yeah, I tried the same stunt and that time she refused to let go so ran beside me.  Twice. She's a determined little person.

I had one more change of clothes after that.  My pink flannel suit.  Er, fly mask.  For reference, this is my namesake wearing his famous pink rag of a suit.

My car is pretty sweet looking too, isn't it?

Mr. Gatsby himself. Yeah, baby. 

So, Spode says she was in the store and she spied this little number, and she couldn't resist...

Pink? Really? Ok, well if Fitzgerald's Gatsby can pull it off, so can I.

Yeah, the GQ editors will be lining up to get some of this.

All in all, a busy and eventful day.  I feel like a clothes horse, but a fashionable one.

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 
  

Spode's Gone! Quick, Let's Throw a Party!

It was my first weekend home alone, and I had a grand old time without my mum around.

Let's see...

On Friday, mum came over for about 5 minutes and all she did was give me treats and hug me and kiss me.  Spode was sad for some reason, so she chatted to me about some things I didn't understand, hugged me thank you and said, "See Gatsby?  This is why I have you.  Good job earning your keep!"  She arrived teary eyed and left with a smile.  Job done, I guess.  If all I have to do to make her happy is stand still, I've really landed on my feet at this place! Only time will tell.

Unfortunately, my weekend started out a little rough.  Dinner was late because my feeder was late and had forgotten that Spode left her in charge.  I was a little bit grumbly, but hey: better late than never.

Merlin and I partied hard in the evening.  He likes the jazz.  We got along well, and our Yellow Cocktail Music could be heard for miles. I'm doing Fitzgerald proud, Old Sport.

On Saturday I had a real adventure.  A new horse arrived, and he smelled a little scary.  He's a black stallion named Brother Willie.  I'm a little afraid of him.  I'm glad he's 3 paddocks down from me.  Or so I thought... He jumped two fences to get with Alex and Merlin, and he was headed for me next.  I really missed Spode then!!! A guy came and rescued me by taking me to the sand ring away from Will, but I was scared.  I wanted my Spode to know it was okay.  No one else has done anything else with me, so it was a very new experience.

After Will was caught and locked in the barn, I was led back out to my home.  What a day.

Today was okay.  In the afternoon Spode came back and was very confused when she saw that someone had left my halter on and I was covered in sandy mud from the ring.  I was also still feeling a bit anxious, so I didn't come running up to see her like usual.  Cue Spode's anxiety (I can feel it!).  I let her know I was okay though when she came out to sit in the paddock with me.  We just chilled out for a while, and it was nice:

Ah, reunited at last.   One day without Spode was pretty eventful.  She said it was a good warm up for the fall when she has to go back for learnin' English.

Glad to have her back.

Until Later, Old Sports.

Jay.

"He's as Healthy as a Horse!"

What a silly thing for a vet to say.  I could have told him that. Yep, the vet was here today.  I loved him because he fed me tons of treats! Way more than Spode EVER gives me (which is saying something, I guess, because the horses tell me Spode is a horse spoiler like no other).

Mr. Vet said that he wants to make the early vet days as positive as possible.  Fine by me.  Taking my temperature kind of sucked, but the treats made up for it.  Spode and Mr. Vet discussed my feet.  Mr. Vet checked them out and said he's not at all worried about my front ones, despite a long thin crack in my white one.  My back ones worry him a little because of a "flare crack" but he hopes Mr. Farrier can get on top of it without shoes (shoes? huh?).  Told Spode not to worry...but I could feel that that didn't help her much!

Speaking of worry, Spode also asked him to check my eyes again, even though the last vet checked them and gave me the all clear.  Surprise, surprise, my eyes are still fine. So I got a flashlight shined in my eyeballs for no reason at all.  Sigh... this is the life I've gotten myself into.  I have a worrywart for an owner.  I bet if she was a horse, she'd be a crazy pacing/weaving Thoroughbred...  She needs some Clyde to calm her down.  Oh. Hey.

Mr. Vet had nothing but nice things to say about me.  My ego is growing by the day.  I really sucked up to him--I put my head in his arms at one point.  Yeah, everyone loves Gatsby.  There will be line ups to attend my parties! The yellow cocktail music is coming.
The vet and Spode did confuse me a bit talking about "breaking".  Breaking what? Me??  Why do they want to break me!? The vet rubbed my spine and pat me hard all over and said "I bet you could climb up right now, if you wanted to.  Although I'm not sure how you'd get up there..." to which Spode replied, "I'm waiting another year and a half, at least..."  WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT!?  I'm going to have to have a chat with my next door neighbour:

Hey Merlin, did they break you, too?

Anyway, the vet wished her luck with...whatever it is Spode is planning.   I'll figure it out sometime.  In other news, Spode was super happy with me and with how good I've been with my feet.  She's going away this weekend.  That means not having to pick up my feet or be sprayed (woooo!) but it also means no extra food or attention, which I love.  I come running over for attention all the time! It makes Spode happy and it makes me happy--a win-win. 

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.