If You Just Wanted to Play Dress Up, Maybe you Should Have Gotten a Breyer Model.

You know, I'm beginning to think that the only reason Spode decided to keep me was in order to play dress up. Also, this is the problem with behaving.  It means that you have to do more things the next day. Can't a guy get a break around here?

Yeah, so Spode arrived earlyish today because she wanted lots of time to play with me.  Never a good sign.  We went through our usual grooming routine, plus Spode made me stretch my front feet out in front of me to practice for my next foot fairy day.  Not too bad so far.  But then she brought out the big guns: a saddle.

My next door neighbour Merlin told me all about the saddle one day, because he was laughing about how Spode could barely get his "girth" done up because of his extra weight.  The saddle is used for the humans to sit on us.  I was a little nervous of this.  Spode said before that she wouldn't sit on me until next August at the earliest, so why does she want to put a saddle on me!?

Spode can practically read my mind at this point, and she likes to talk. A lot.  So she explained that I have to wear a saddle to see what it feels like while she can still reach my back easily.  She said that I will keep growing and she'd rather deal with an issue now than in a year from now when I'm even more of a giant.  I think she means when I fit into the "Great" part of my full name.

Right now, she sees this from her point of view:

Ok, I can see her point.

Anyway, so she put that funny saddle pad on my back again and then let me smell a saddle all over.  That was all okay, as was putting it on my back.  The girth was pretty scary though.  It jingles.  It does not suit my jazz age music.  Do they have jazz girths?
I also didn't like it dangling down near my legs, but Spode told me to stand still and ignore it, so eventually I did.  She went around to my other side and brought the girth around me.  Huh.  Not so scary after all.  She tightened it slowly and I didn't make a move (told ya I know how to make her day).

I borrowed Merlin's girth.  I cannot believe how fat my neighbour must be if it didn't fit him! 

So, saddles are not too bad! I was pleasantly surprised.  Maybe this packing around humans thing won't be so bad either... Or so I thought.  Unfortunately because I was so good and didn't bat an eye about moving around with a saddle on my back, Spode decided to add to the dress up game by putting jumping boots on my front legs.  Ick.  I didn't like those very much.  Tried hard to get them off but to no avail.  And then I refused to move with them on because they felt funny.  Spode said "fine, just stand there then" and went and got another thing out of the dress up room.  A bridle.  Also Merlin's. Merlin didn't tell me about this part though.  Spode came over with it and stood beside me.  She opened my mouth, and before I knew it, I had a bit in my mouth.  It was not the most comfortable thing in the world.

What have you done to me!? I cannot move. 

I chewed and chewed but I could not break it.  Argh.  Spode kept feeding me treats but I had to mush them with my front teeth in order to eat them! How does she expect me to eat with metal in my mouth!?

Spode ignored my chewing and told me that I should go outside.  That meant moving my feet.  I had to take GIGANTIC steps to get out of the barn.  Stupid boots. Once I got outside I realized I could take normal steps, which was a big relief (for Spode too, it seems). The bit was still annoying though. 

Blech. Tastes of Merlin.

 I managed to ignore it eventually and even figured out how to eat grass with it in to a certain extent. Life isn't so bad.  I'm still convinced Spode just likes having me around to dress me up, because she wouldn't stop trying to get me to stand still so she could snap a picture. 

Why must you drag me away from the grass? If you really loved me...

After she had had her fill of photos (I unfortunately did not have my fill of grass.  Hmph.) we went back to the barn and she removed her game of dress up.  Except she left on the front boots and put on hind boots as well, which REALLY sucked. 

Seriously? Did you put these on just so you could take a photo, AGAIN?!

 Now hind boots are hard to walk with.  I had to take extra gigantic steps out of the barn this time.  When I was allowed to eat grass again I stood like a flamingo for a while, but it didn't help.

Oh for the love of Fitzgerald, get it off!!

Only when I walked normally and stopped holding up my legs did Spode bring me back in and take them off.  Ah, relaxation at last.  Unfortunately, she then said, "come on Gatsby. Fly spray time."  I warned her.  Yesterday I was good but today I put my foot down and said enough with the spray again.  She still got it on me everywhere but I made her fight for it.  Sadly she's not one to give up, so I guess I lost that battle anyway.  We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.