How to get out of a weight loss program

Spring is in the air, old sports! It's finally true! No more winter is coming-I can feel it in my hair. I'm finally starting to let go of my winter coat that's been stubbornly holding on in case of a second winter. I think the risk is finally dissipated. Underneath all that hair, I'm actually kind of shiny. I swear.

Note the difference between neck and butt! 

Anyway, spring also means vet visits, which isn't my favourite thing. However, I did get to see the best vet in the world this time around, as her leg is all better now (remember-it wasn't me that did the damage! The only bones I've broken belong to Spode). Nobody likes a vaccine, but if it's necessary, you might as well get it done by people you love, am I right?
Spring vet visits are nonetheless a bit of an anxious time for Spode and me. All those medications can wreak havoc on my delicate immune system and my eyeballs. I had lots of bute before and after my spring worming and my first vaccination. 3 more to go in 2 more visits. So far so good. I had my eyes checked and they look fabulous. All is well!
I also had my teeth floated, which meant I had to be sedated. As usual, it took very, very little to make me groggy as heck. Spode and the vet had me rigged up to the rafters so Spode wasn't stuck holding up my heavy head like she usually is when I'm sedated. It was very embarrassing though--as soon as they lifted my head up I started snoring and didn't stop for a long, long time.

Is this real life?! 

So now my teeth are all smoothed out, my eyes are good, and I'm almost ready for mosquito season. The only downside? Mrs. Vet let me down. She felt all along my side and then told Spode I was a bit overweight. Spode was horrified--and me even more so! Spode was upset because she hadn't even realized I was too heavy, but I was upset because of the look of determination that crossed Spode's face after her look of shame had passed. That can only mean one thing. A weight loss program. This would mean fewer grazing breaks, fewer treats, less grain, and more WORK! Oh dear. 

I'm not coming one step closer until you promise you still have treats in that pocket. At least 3. 

So Spode is ready to work her butt off to get me to work my butt off. Me? I'm not so into the weight loss thing. I'm happy with my looks, thank you very much. 

Hey-who you calling heavy? 

But how do you keep the treats coming and minimize the weight loss? Be really, really good! When I make a break through under saddle, Spode can't resist throwing her reins away and letting me having a long walking break. And then, even better, she gives bonus treats immediately after getting off instead of just when I come in and go out. Perfect! Easy peasy! I'm pretty sure I've put on weight instead of getting trim. But hey-Spode's happy, I'm happy... the only one who might not be impressed is the vet in a couple weeks. But I'll figure something out at that time. So far, being a very good student is doing wonders for me. I'm looking more Clyde and less Thoroughbred every day. 

The result of a very good ride. See? Works like a charm.

Spode says my head is fatter for sure with all the praise I've been getting lately...

There's another method, of course. Spring is the perfect time to use the old mud trick. Just take a look at this....

I'm very proud of myself. Can you tell?

Here's the trick, old sports. When your mum has come with exactly 2 hours to spend with you, make sure that the majority of the time is spent on grooming. It's a big bonus if you have clay footing, because when that dries on your hair it's a nightmare to get off. Well, a nightmare for Spode--a miracle for me! Spode had very little time to whip me into shape on this particular day.

I pulled a fast one on you again, Spode! 

But really, the rides are not too bad. I'm definitely working harder than before, but it's not only because of my weight loss goal--it's also because show season is coming, so I've been told. Spode is bound and determined to get me out there and does not want to make a complete fool of herself. Therefore, I'm hard at work to improve my geometry (what is this, high school? You're only Miss Wolff at school, kid!) and my ability to bend. I'm getting there! 

First you want me to bend, then you want me straight. Then you want me to trot. Then stop. Then trot. SO confusing!! 

So all in all, life is good. Spode's broken foot is still very much broken, but it doesn't bother her all that much just doing the every day things. She is just like a horse with navicular. See Spode-I just wanted to step on you to test out my theory that people with navicular acth just like horses with navicular. Just slightly "off". But unlike how Spode would react to a horse with navicular, a fractured bone in Spode's foot isn't gong to stop her from getting me in shape.  Alas. I'll have to break her toes next time. I've heard you can't walk if that happens.... Maybe that'll be my next trick. 

I can eat while lying down and expend absolutely no energy whatsoever. Perfect! 

Until later, old sports.

Jay. 

Don't step on the foot that feeds and entertains you!

Oh, old sports, I am so bored! It's only been 4 days since Spode left me and was relegated to her house, but I'm already pacing the fence awaiting her return. Clearly I should have looked where I was stepping rather than putting my big feet wherever I please. #ClydesdaleProblems. We had been having such a lovely time since Spode is off school for the summer, too! My bad...

It was not great timing. I'm all itchy and muddy, and I would like nothing more than for Spode to get all of it off of me, especially since it's becoming rather hot under all this loose hair. We've had a typical Canadian spring--it did not exist. It's gone straight from winter to summer. Alas, my hair didn't know that.

I'm one giant fuzzball! Please, get it off!

It's also bad timing because Spode and I were just getting to the point where we were ready to start making some progress with our training instead of just getting back in shape. The start of show season is in one month, and we're not ready! I mean, I'm sure we could make our way around the ring in one piece, but it would be good if we could look halfway decent while doing it. We'll see. No matter what (well, barring health issues), we're starting our show season in May! I'm ready to take on the world-just you wait and see!

Pretty sure Spode feels like she can take on the world from way up here too!

Looks like it, doesn't it?

Still, there is a whole lot of prep work to do first. Spode is sending in all the forms, and now it's time to get all my documents in order too. First things first, I need to get my vaccinations done. That might not be a big deal for a regular horse, but I've got my autoimmune disease to consider, so my vaccines and deworming have to be carefully spaced out so as not to overload my system and cause an attack. That would be all we need. But I don't think it'll happen. Spode has been consulting with Miss. BestVetintheWholeWideWorld and we'll get everything done in 3 visits and painkillers before and after. Last year I had a reaction to one vaccine as well, so we're trying a different one. Nothing is ever easy when it comes to my health, it seems. Spode wistfully told me that there was a time once when "herd health" meant nothing to her but a single bill in the mail. Those were the days, I guess.

Speaking of health, I just passed the one year mark! It's the anniversary of my eye implants. Those babies have been sitting in my eyes doing their magic for one full year. That was quite the adventure for me and Spode. Best decision Spode has ever made, if I do say so myself. And Dr. Brooks was very nice to us. Of course I'm not looking forward to undergoing the procedure again, but I hope it will be Dr. Brooks who does it when we have to go back. Hopefully that won't be for a couple of years, at least!  Dr. Brooks jokingly told me and Spode that I'd never be able to read again when we went for our surgery consult. Little did he know that one year later I'd still be blogging away! Of course, he wasn't aware what a literary horse I was at the time. I'll forgive the mistake.

Anyway, my eyes have been great lately so as long as vaccines don't mess anything up, I think we'll be safe and we can continue to get down to business. Now that the snow has gone, Spode and I are back to hacking in order to build up my muscles and not to over-school me. I've been out twice already and was on my best behaviour both times. I love to hack! I also enjoy the lessons in dressage though. Spode is now teaching me the basics of bending. I confess, I don't quite understand what she wants yet, but according to Spode I'm showing potential of reaching a breakthrough. We'll go as slow as it takes, she said, so no rush there. After all, I'm not even 4 years old yet! My birthday isn't until next month!

Looking sharp anyway!

The constant adoration and praise goes a loooong way, let me tell you!

It's a bit of a slower process than normal anyway because my stifles are playing up quite a bit. My bum appears to have grown again, so my tendons aren't quite right (just one more thing to slow our training down...). Hacking and trot poles are the best thing for that, and circles are the worst. So I know what Spode and I will be doing lots of in the coming weeks once she's back on her feet! I can't wait. I'm so bored standing in my field. Oh how I wish I hadn't stepped on her foot! I am severely lacking in the treat department! Spode came by for a brief visit today to give me a treat and a scratch from the other side of the fence. It was kind of shocking to see her in a cast, I must say. Took me by surprise. I kept sniffing at it but ultimately discovered that it was not edible. Obviously I lost interest in it after that and went back to snuffling Spode's pockets.

The only thing I don't miss is bathing. Now that the weather has turned, Spode has already given me one full bath. I did not enjoy it very much. Spode was also displeased and said I need to remember the rules. Oh really? Why don't you try standing still while someone sprays a hose on you! Life is so unfair. But I was already starting to get used to it by the end of the bath, so I guess it won't be too long before I'm able to keep my toes in one place. It'll help when it's even warmer though. 20 degrees might feel boiling after that long, cold winter, but it's still not super warm when you add in the cold hose factor. Sorry to burst your bubble, old sport.

All wet and shiny! But ahas it really worth it?

It took hours for me to dry with all my winter hair still clinging on, and you still ended up having to put me out half wet. 

The result of said efforts...

Just be thankful I only rolled in the hay... while you were watching, at least!

So, until later when Spode is back to normal, old sports.

Jay.