Baby, I Was Born This Way

Old Sports, I am a true Clyde at heart.  Now that fly spray, leading, and wearing tack is all old hat, Spode introduced me to a new exercise: driving.  Oh yes, this is what I was bred to do.  In true Clyde fashion, I took to it very easily.  Nary a kick to be felt! I was a little anxious about the lines at first, but then Spode turned my head left and right with them, telling me I was such a great Gatsby.  Then I got the gist of it.

Ok Spode.  I'll even bend my neck to show off for you--I just know you love that!

Spode drove me up and down the ring a few times, turning me this way and that.  Then we called it a day and she let me eat.  Which was good, because it was hot! She gave me a shower too, which I'm not a huge fan of, but I'll do it for Spode...

That's not all I've done this week.  Spode's cousin also came to check me out.  I hear that she'll be giving Spode and I lessons in the future when she finally breaks me in (boooo. No one ever asked me!).  I think she liked me! I refused to show off my moves for her because of the heat.  Besides, it wasn't a party day.  I can only party so much.  Even Fitzgerald's Gatsby didn't have wild nights every night. 

Today I had my farrier visit.  I was a very good boy and thus received many treats (I helped myself yesterday when Spode wasn't looking.  It was all going according to plan until I spilled them all over the floor and Spode turned around to see what I was up to.  Drats!) 

My farrier took a whole lot of hoof off but I still have some flaring.  Spode is happier though.  She says I look almost normal now (Spode is a bit of a jerk sometimes.  Considering her English degree, you would think that she could come up with a nicer way of describing my wonderful hooves!)

My lovely fronts.  Bit of flaring on the inside of both of them, but it's becoming equal. 

Admittedly my hinds are still very strange looking, but 100 times better! 

See? Look at my pretty even front hoof!

This here is my problem hoof.  The other hind looks almost normal, but I do have some trouble with this one.  I hurt my frog...

Anyway, it's been an eventful week as Spode prepares for my big move on Sunday.  I will miss all my buddies here.  I'm a little nervous.  However, that may or may not be Spode's anxiety rubbing off on me.  I do worry about the rumours.  What if, like Fitzgerald's Gatsby, the other horses go around telling each other that I killed a man once?  I'll need to carry around some photos and other items to prove myself! 

Well, that's another day.  One more day of relaxing.  Spode wants to braid my mane again and wash my legs, and then hopefully she'll just let me eat for the rest of my days! 

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

But Why Do I Have to Wear this Belt?

Yawn.  I have had a few busy days lately! I'm a tired boy.  Sorry all, for not being on top of things.  You must be feeling like Gatsby's guests when they arrived to find no parties after Daisy and my namesake finally got back together.  Don't worry, I'll get this party started again.

Spode got rid of my feathers again, and yet again I have a hack job on all 4 legs.  The clipper situation is desperate, as they are only just semi-functional on the closest setting. It took 2 hours to do all 4 pasterns up to the fetlocks, and my white legs now have a distinct pink hue. There are fewer clipper marks, I'll give Spode that, but I am practically bald now.  I'll be so embarrassed when the farrier comes to visit tomorrow.  I have a feeling Spode might be a touch embarrassed too.

Oh sure, you can't tell what a disaster they are at all! 

I also got the hairs of my chinny-chin-chin trimmed too.  There was a lovely pile of black and white stubble left all over the barn floor. 

The next day, Spode got out the saddle, bridle, and boots again.  I stood perfectly still, even better than last time.  And I didn't high step out of the barn quite as badly.  I've learned to live with boots.  Much to Spode's glee, I've also recently agreed to stand like any other horse to be fly sprayed, AND I eat apples.  Spode and I are both much more excited by the apple eating! 

Anyway, back to what I was saying...  I got all dressed up and then taken to the sand ring. Spode let me loose and I immediately did this:

 She actually wanted me to run around though, so I obliged.  I had completely forgotten about my big belt holding on the saddle, so that surprised me. I bucked a few times but I'm a smart horse: I know with that belt that the saddle isn't budging.

 

After the initial shock I settled down and just ran around when Spode asked.

 I made Spode laugh because I just kept trotting around in this way.  She yelled to me that she didn't want a western pony, but I don't understand what she means by that... She did say that she was pleased to see me rounding my back, whatever that means!

Mum, can we please stop now?

Spode let me eat for a bit after that, and then she put me back in my paddock.  Much to my surprise, she came out to play with me that evening, too.  A double date? Fantastic!  This time she worked on leading again.  I was silly the first time she asked me to trot. She made me back up, and we tried again. I learnt my lesson and was perfect for her the rest of the time.  I walked, halted, backed up, and trotted a full circle and long side beside Spode.  I even did a quarter turn on the haunches both sides.
We finished our second play date by walking down a trail to another ring and eating some grass.  Well, Spode did not partake in the eating grass part of the day, but she did have a bite of apple with me!

Tomorrow the farrier is coming, so I'm sure I'll be putting my hooves on buckets again in preparation.  Oh joy.

After that, I'll be ready for my big moving day! Six more sleeps!

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

Spode the Rag-doll.

I got in trouble with my girl yesterday.  Oh boy. But let me start at the beginning, because I believe it was kind of her fault.  Maybe I'm a little biased, but hay.

Spode brought me in, and because it was so hot and I was so filthy, she decided it was time for another bath. Oh joy.  In truth, I didn't mind it too much because I was getting a little sweaty.  I stood still for her while she hosed me off.  See, that got me on her good side because it was so much better than last time!

Get this soap off.  Now! 

Spode let me eat lots of grass while I dried off, but then she told me we had to leave and go back to my paddock. Argh, that is the bane of my existence!  I wish I could stay and eat all day.
Because Spode gets annoyed when I don't leave with her right away, I did pick up my head fairly quickly, but then I didn't stop.  I dragged her pretty much all the way up the driveway and then some.  I went past my gate while Spode frantically tried tugging on my rope and smacking my chest (oh, she is like a little fly!).  It was hilarious.  When I turned my head one way, Spode would be whipped around with me.  I own a rag-doll! Sweet! Spode eventually had to grab my nose and stare me in the eye, and yelled WHOA! I had to stop then.  She was the most annoyed she's been so far.  She was even angrier than when I reared up and hit her hand when I first met her.  She says I'm a big boy now and I know better than to drag her around like she doesn't matter.

I did learn my lesson because she put me in my paddock, latched the gate, and then turned away in a huff without a treat.  I also turned away in a huff: I wheeled around, bucked, and cantered off.  When she drove past in her van I cantered after her waiting for my treat, but it never did arrive.  I can only push Spode so far, it seems. She did come back later and feed me my dinner, so at least there's that.

Today Spode was only around for a bit because of the rain, but she was thrilled with how soft and clean I was.  My hair is pristine. But only for today.

I'm sorry...

I played jollyball with Spode for a bit after she fixed my fence.  Merlin and I have decided that we should try and make our two paddocks one before I leave next week. We'll succeed eventually! 

I'll see how I feel tomorrow and whether I want Spode to be my rag-doll again!

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

More Dress Up.

She's at it again, Old Sports.  More clothes to try on. It was more things for my legs, today.  She called them "shipping boots", though I've no idea why.  I don't plan to ever go on a ship (Spode is actually contemplating that very thing, but I say neigh!  Well, I think I do.).  Oh well, we weren't travelling anywhere today so I agreed to stand still while she tried them on me.  She told me not to feel embarrassed by them.  She knows they are too small but it's all she has at the moment.  Her previous horse had shorter legs.  She would rather I not wear them all the time anyway.  She'll get me my very own--or some guy she knows named Santa Claus will.  I'm not too bothered, personally, but Spode's the boss--usually.

Before she put on the shipping boots (arrrr, me hearties!) I had to try on bell boots.  Again she apologized for the size and incorrect colour.  They were much too small. She could barely get the velcro done up around my heel.  Alas, they were done up tight enough that I could not stomp them off. I tried and tried, but my stomping did no good.

Blue was not mentioned in The Great Gatsby nearly enough to warrant this, Spode!  

Next up were the shipping boots. They were too loose at first so slouched down.  I think she was trying to make me hate them.  Wrong colour, too small, too loose.  Sheesh, for a horse I sure have to put up with a lot.

Seriously? You think I look cute!? I beg to differ...

If I close my eyes real tight, maybe the boots will be off when I open them again.  There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

Unfortunately they were still on, and then I had to put on the back boots, too. Oh Spode.  Why?

If you leave these on me all night, I swear to Fitzgerald...

At least Spode is always nice enough to let me eat grass after I try on my clothes.  They weren't too scary until I kicked a fly off my belly and it made a swish noise.  I ran a little bit until I realized what it was.  Oops. At least Spode is always nice enough to let me eat grass after I try on my clothes. Mostly she just enjoys staring at my pretty tail...

And gazing adoringly at my handsome profile...

I don't mind.  She likes to watch m and I get to eat, so it really is a win win.  Until she makes me leave. I hate that, especially.

After Spode was done, she took off my boots, kissed me good night, and fed me some more treats.  Life is good, my friends. Life is good.

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

Apple Flavoured? Are You Sure??

Yay, Spode is back! It was a lonely, lonely weekend.  I was so bored that I made my own fun in my paddock. First, I flipped out the rest of my roundbale from my feeder and threw it all over the ground.  Now I have a nice soft bed that doubles as dinner! Spode was none too impressed though...

Flipping the bale didn't take too long, so afterwards I decided to hide my fly mask.  I found a part of the fence with some binding wire and made a little hole in my pink ear.  Then all I had to do was pull back, and voila! My fly mask was left hanging on the fence! That gave me the good idea to start taking off rails.  I got 2 down near the road so I could give Spode a good scare when she finally got back.  After that, my mischief was done.

Spode returned this afternoon and brought me into the barn.  Right away she took out this tube:

Apple flavoured? Yeah right!!

She lifted my head up above her shoulder and pushed the tube into my mouth.  I didn't mind, but then she pushed it down and I suddenly got a whole ton of paste in my throat, and it was gross! She wouldn't let me put my head down because she wanted me to swallow.  Oh no, buddy.  I'm not doing that! There we were, her lifting my head up and me with my mouth wide open, when I finally got my tongue working.  With one quick movement I twisted my tongue and SPLAT. The paste landed on the floor in a big gob. I totally won this one! Spode was shocked. She never let my head move an inch and I still got around swallowing it!

Unfortunately that wasn't the end of the battle though.  She put me back in the cross ties and got the gob off the floor using my treats.  She tried to feed me those but they smelt so terrible, there was no way I would open my mouth for that. Then she got a bucket and put the treats in along with some of my grain.  Nope.  Then she added some of the tasty sweet feed that the other horses get to eat as well.  Still nope.  Then she poured on molasses.  Nope. And then water and more molasses.  Nope.  Even more molasses! Then I started to get hungry for that tasty sweetness, and I just couldn't resist it.  I gingerly started to eat, and there were so many treats and other tasty thing that I could barely taste that gross paste anymore.  I slurped it all up in the end.  I still think I won though... I got a delicious dinner out of it, didnt' I?

Spode brushed me outside after that, and I let her pick up my feet without her tying me up.  She was pleased with that.  Then she let me go and I followed her around the paddock while she checked my hay bale and brought rails back and forth to fix my fence.  I even tried carrying a log in my mouth but it was too heavy.  I just kept following her with my head next to her back.  It was a fun afternoon! My weekend destruction succeeded in forcing her to stay with me for longer! I'm a smart horse.  The best part was when I followed her around the paddock while she looked for my fly mask.  She was looking all over the tall grass and around the trees.  The fence was the perfect hiding spot! Sadly she did find it eventually, though.  Too bad.  I was hoping it would take her longer.

I'm very glad Spode is back.  There will be more adventures this week, I'm sure.

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

Gatsby and Spode Go Together Like....Gatsby and Daisy!

It's been an exciting few days, Old Sports!

I finally braved the world on the other side of the barn and made it all the way to the annex ring, past the scary tractors, cars, dogs, and house. It was a big day.  The last time Spode tried to get me to walk to the other side of the barn, I reared and hurt her hand.  No problems this time! I trust my Spode.  I no longer feel the need to have a horse in my eye sight at all times in order to feel safe.  I'm past that stage now.

It really wasn't so bad.  The grass was quite pleasant, actually! Yum. There were a few scary things though... These colourful things were spread out around the ring. I was cautious but they didn't move, so no big deal. Spode says one day I'll have to go over them.  Yeah, we'll see about that. 

Always keep one ear on the jump, folks!

That was yesterday.  I also walked back to my paddock without stopping once, so that made Spode's day! It was the least I could do after she let me have so much grass...

Yummmmm

Today Spode's mum came to see me.  She decided to try leading me, which was odd for me.  I kept turning around to look at Spode.  When we got in the barn, Spode stopped and her mum tried to bring me ahead, but I just kept walking sideways trying to see what Spode was up to.  Yep, I'm attached.  Spode's mum said I had a problem.  I think she'll have to come and lead me occasionally to make sure I don't become a one girl horse!  It would be fitting though, since Fitzgerald's Gatsby was certainly a one-girl person! Daisy=Spode.  

They both tried to feed me a mint because I'm supposed to like Mint Juleps, as in The Book. But it was too strong.  I spit it out about 5 times and Spode just kept picking it up again.  No, I am not a peppermint loving horse... Yuck. Take me to the grass, please!

Spode worked on fly spray (I was great!) and bringing my hooves forward in preparation for the farrier.

Ok, I did it.  Now do you love me? 'Cause I love you!

And much to Spode's surprise, she found a belly spot on me today! I don't know how she missed it.  It's right near my front legs, and she was always looking back from there instead of forward.  But there it is!  She's happy now.  I really do have lots of colour! She loves Sabino!

I have a lucky knee AND a lucky armpit! 

After that discovery, we had a grand old time trotting around the sand ring on my lead rope.  I was even allowed to eat some grass when we were done.  Perfect day.  Unfortunately Spode is leaving again this weekend.  I'll miss her.  Can't wait to see her again on Sunday! I'm so worried about this "back to school" she keeps mentioning...

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

I May Not Be a Paint, But I Do Have Colour!

Well Old Sports, life has been pretty dull these past few days.  I haven't learned anything new.  Just same old, same old.  I did finally make it past the barn, which Spode is pleased about.  She's happy I'm getting brave and she's happy that I don't rely on the other horses so much.  Meh, Spode makes a good substitute for a horse anyway....

I'm starting to get real shiny these days, which Spode is just thrilled about.  My coat is a little bit coarse and she worries I won't get really shiny and soft, but we noticed a difference today.  She says with regular grooming, my recent diet change, and a good deworming schedule I should get better and better.  

My mane flipped over again today though, so I expect I shall have some more braids coming soon.  Sigh.  Believe me, if I had control of my mane, it would be on the right side.

Luckily I didn't have to stand for braiding today.  Instead I got to play with garbage.  Literally. 

Yeah, I'll just shake this around and see if I can fit it allll in my mouth. 

After I finished playing, I went out to eat before a storm rolled in.

Eating was cut pretty short today because of that storm, but a small snack was nice. While I was eating, Spode searched for white hairs.  She told me that I'm a sabino, which is the colour I inherited from my clydesdale side.  Sabino, apparently, is the reason for my stockings that end like an overo paint, and my big old blaze.  It's also why my flanks are speckled. 

There, I'm speckly! 

Spode looked for white belly spots, but just like every other time she's searched for them, she didn't see any. My tail has quite a lot of grey hairs, but no belly spots for me. We'll have to wait and see how my colour continues to change.  I'm betting on more greys on my flank! Spode agrees.  Bring on my spring coat next year!

Sorry, all.  That's all the excitement I have for today.

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

I'm Just Trying to Get Your Attention!

“She didn’t like it,” he said immediately.

“Of course she did.”

“She didn’t like it,” he insisted. “She didn’t have a good time.”

He was silent, and I guessed at his unutterable depression.

“I feel far away from her,” he said. “It’s hard to make her understand.”

-Chapter 6, The Great Gatsby

My namesake was in love with a girl named Daisy.  Poor Old Sport.  I'm pretty happy with my Spode, too, and so I was reminded of this scene from The Book today.  Spode has been so busy theses past couple of days I've barely been able to see her.  So I decided to try some things...

I put my plan into action as soon as she came in the driveway.  I was looking pretty good--fairly clean, and my pink rag of a suit/fly mask was on properly.  But, when she came to get me, it was on like this!

Yes? What??

Spode laughed and snuggled and said, "silly Jay, the point is to stop you from getting sunburn! Stop trying to tan!"  We went walking and did some more work on trotting (I got this!! I do!)  I had a brief time in the barn with her but it was a super fast grooming.  She put hoof moisturizer on me (yes, I am a fancy boy)

And then she discovered my second trick.  I have brought something back from her past....Oh god, I can't resist: hehem, "Can't repeat the past? Why of course you can!" Here's to you, Fitzgerald.  Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, my second trick. 

Hock sores.  Exact same kind as her Zoodles used to get.  Cue Spode's stress.  She's started pacing (again) and worrying herself that she was doing something wrong to cause sores for both of us.  She's still pondering about it right now, if I know Spode.  That was the plan.  I'd force her to worry about me so she'd spend more time with me! Except my plan did not exactly pan out. 

She put me straight back into my paddock after my time in the barn, and she knows that I hate that. Ugh.  I like to do things. I like to eat or go for walks, or check out the weird stuff we find around the farm.  But no, she said she had to go and I needed to go home right away. I put up a fuss but that didn't change her mind. 

Today she found me like this:

Yes?  What??

Spode sighed again and just fixed my mask.  She doesn't want a golden boy, obviously ("Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold." Oh wait, wrong book. Sorry Fitzgerald)  I admit that I do have a slight tendency to burn as soon as the sun comes out.  I just want attention!

Spode left me after she adjusted my suit, and then she went to play with that other crazy beast, Willie.  By the time she was done with him she had no time left for me.  So sad.  "It's hard to make her understand." Oh Gatsby, how true.  Let us share in our sadness and extraordinary gift for hope. All she did today was give me a hug and some treats, and then she said that she'll be gone most of the day tomorrow, and next weekend she's gone again! This sucks! And in a few weeks she said she's going back to school.  I don't know what it means but it doesn't sound good.

So I'm a bit glum today, Old Sports.  I want my Spode all to myself.  Soon, I hear, I'll be moving house and she promises that I'll be her one sole focus when that time comes. That's what Fitzgerald's Gatsby wanted from Daisy. “Your wife doesn’t love you,” said Gatsby. “She’s never loved you. She loves me.”  An American Dream. 

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

Fitzgerald's Gatsby drives fast, but I run fast!

Well, I'm not sure about Spode, but I know that I had fun today!

First, I tricked Spode because I had my left side facing her when she drove in the driveway.  Sure, I looked pretty clean from that side, but once she finally got a view of my right side... Spode's jaw actually dropped.  It was the best mud layer I had ever built up.  Must have been 2 centimetres thick all the way across.  I laughed all the way to the barn until Spode immediately dragged me into the wash stall.  Ah, okay.  Joke's on me.

Yeah, so I was hosed off and curried thoroughly.  Grr.  Here I was thinking Spode would just groom me and get mud all over herself as a result. The next barn doesn't have a wash stall, I hear, so I'll have to try my stunt again in a month!

After my unexpected bath, I went out for a walk in the "grand prix" ring.  It was only my second time in there because being alone makes me nervous.  I trust Spode more every day though, so it's okay.  Yesterday she made me walk in the water jump, which was absolutely terrifying.  We fought over it for a good 20 minutes and, as usual, Spode won. Sigh. I actually felt a bit silly when I finally stepped down into it. It really wan't that scary.

Today Spode made me climb the big hill.

Hey, if I can eat grass, I'm cool with whatever. Going down the hill was hard because Spode wouldn't let me run down it.  I had to walk slowly and it made my, um, well... my butt muscles work. Heh. 

I did have a few runs today though.  Spode decided it was time for me to learn to trot beside her on the lead line.  I didn't understand it for a while.  First Spode had to drag me around and I just kept walking. I finally trotted and she made a big fuss of me.  I thought to myself, "ok.  I got this.  I'll do exactly as you ask, Spode..."  She clicked her tongue and started to run.  So did I.  I cantered, in fact.  And then I bucked.  And then I hopped into the air.  Oh boy was Spode angry. We tried again and got a similar result.  I still didn't get it.  I cantered a circle around and tried to take Spode with me.  We tried again, but this time Spode made very slight speed adjustments at the walk first.  Super slow, super fast walk, super slow, whoa, super fast... and eventually she eased me into a trot.  Ok, I think I got it! Spode says she'll see if I understand the concept tomorrow and will work on it if not.  I get it, I promise!! 

Because I was so speedy and silly on the lead today, Spode decided to let me rip in the sand ring. 

Yeah, baby! Let's go, go, go! 

For my literary friends, I've taken after Fitzgerald's characters and have a penchant for careless driving. Oh boy, I'd better make sure Spode NEVER EVER lets anyone called Daisy ride me! We'd crash for sure.

So much fun.  I hope Spode will let me do that more often. I know she worries about my legs though.  I  circle too tight and she gets nervous. It's worse now that she is 90% sure I do have a small splint.  Letting me run occasionally is just fine though! I swear! Please??

After that, Spode let took me back to my paddock and gave me my dinner.  Good day... for me, at least!

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay. 

Turns Out Humans Come in Size Small, Too.

Spode brought a miniature human with her today.  Her name is Ally.  The first thing she did was feed me grass, so I knew we would get on pretty well, but I was a little wary nonetheless.  

I was initially pretty disappointed because they took my next door neighbour, Merlin, out instead of me.  Ugh. Not fair. But later I saw the little one standing on his back.  Er, okay.  Maybe hanging out in my paddock isn't so bad after all.

After they were done treating Merlin like a jungle gym, they came and got me.  Ally won me over again here because she took out my braids that have been making me itch. Literally.

Stretch those arms, Ally! Get em out!!

Ahhh, feels so much better. And I always wanted curls!

Then things got a little weird. She started making noises and...dancing.  It was most strange. I've never seen anything like it.  It was quite the little entertainment show I had going on while Spode brushed me.

This was my attitude before the dance show...

And this is after.  Even Spode was enjoying the show!

Little humans are odd.  But in a good way.  It was a great grooming session in the barn today because of it, plus Spode was pretty generous with the scratches.

Oooh, that's the spot.  Yeah, yeah--right there!

Ooh, yeah, there's another one! Ah, heaven.

 Unfortunately the fun stopped there.  When Spode had brushed all she could brushed, she glared at my stockings and said I was dirty and should have done my laundry. She then dragged me into the wash stall.  This can only mean one thing, and it's a thing I do not like...

OH NO! NOT THE BUCKET!!

IT'S TOUCHING ME!!!

You really need to bathe my feet? You humans are all odd, be you big or little.

As always, I had to put up with her eventually.  I still don't see the point though.  My legs will be just as dirty tomorrow.  Sorry to disappoint you. I don't know why you do this to yourself, really.
To top off the indignity, I then had to wait inside for my legs to dry so that I didn't get hideously dirty. While we were waiting, Spode decided to make me wear a bridle again.  I was only saved from the boots because my legs were wet.  Small miracles.  Spode would also like me to get well used to bridling so that I can do showmanship next year.  Next year!! So why do I need to wear it now?

Sigh, okay.  Whatevs. 

Dance for me, Ally?

After that, Ally's mum came and they all stared at me for a while.  I was reminded of the day Spode came to look at me in Richmond.  She stared and stared.  Weird humans. For my literary friends, I was also reminded of chapter 3 of The Great Book.  Fitzgerald is always relevant.  Didn't I tell you that?  Of course I did.  Pay attention, or Spode will pull a Miss. Wolff on you and start blabbing on about green lights. Yes, yes.  We're all "borne back ceaselessly into the past".  I know, Miss. Wolff.  Sheesh, sometimes you're as repetitive as the colour grey in chapter 2! Oh dear, Spode's obsession is starting to rub off on me... Next thing you know I'll be getting a degree from Queen's.

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.