How to get out of a weight loss program

Spring is in the air, old sports! It's finally true! No more winter is coming-I can feel it in my hair. I'm finally starting to let go of my winter coat that's been stubbornly holding on in case of a second winter. I think the risk is finally dissipated. Underneath all that hair, I'm actually kind of shiny. I swear.

Note the difference between neck and butt! 

Anyway, spring also means vet visits, which isn't my favourite thing. However, I did get to see the best vet in the world this time around, as her leg is all better now (remember-it wasn't me that did the damage! The only bones I've broken belong to Spode). Nobody likes a vaccine, but if it's necessary, you might as well get it done by people you love, am I right?
Spring vet visits are nonetheless a bit of an anxious time for Spode and me. All those medications can wreak havoc on my delicate immune system and my eyeballs. I had lots of bute before and after my spring worming and my first vaccination. 3 more to go in 2 more visits. So far so good. I had my eyes checked and they look fabulous. All is well!
I also had my teeth floated, which meant I had to be sedated. As usual, it took very, very little to make me groggy as heck. Spode and the vet had me rigged up to the rafters so Spode wasn't stuck holding up my heavy head like she usually is when I'm sedated. It was very embarrassing though--as soon as they lifted my head up I started snoring and didn't stop for a long, long time.

Is this real life?! 

So now my teeth are all smoothed out, my eyes are good, and I'm almost ready for mosquito season. The only downside? Mrs. Vet let me down. She felt all along my side and then told Spode I was a bit overweight. Spode was horrified--and me even more so! Spode was upset because she hadn't even realized I was too heavy, but I was upset because of the look of determination that crossed Spode's face after her look of shame had passed. That can only mean one thing. A weight loss program. This would mean fewer grazing breaks, fewer treats, less grain, and more WORK! Oh dear. 

I'm not coming one step closer until you promise you still have treats in that pocket. At least 3. 

So Spode is ready to work her butt off to get me to work my butt off. Me? I'm not so into the weight loss thing. I'm happy with my looks, thank you very much. 

Hey-who you calling heavy? 

But how do you keep the treats coming and minimize the weight loss? Be really, really good! When I make a break through under saddle, Spode can't resist throwing her reins away and letting me having a long walking break. And then, even better, she gives bonus treats immediately after getting off instead of just when I come in and go out. Perfect! Easy peasy! I'm pretty sure I've put on weight instead of getting trim. But hey-Spode's happy, I'm happy... the only one who might not be impressed is the vet in a couple weeks. But I'll figure something out at that time. So far, being a very good student is doing wonders for me. I'm looking more Clyde and less Thoroughbred every day. 

The result of a very good ride. See? Works like a charm.

Spode says my head is fatter for sure with all the praise I've been getting lately...

There's another method, of course. Spring is the perfect time to use the old mud trick. Just take a look at this....

I'm very proud of myself. Can you tell?

Here's the trick, old sports. When your mum has come with exactly 2 hours to spend with you, make sure that the majority of the time is spent on grooming. It's a big bonus if you have clay footing, because when that dries on your hair it's a nightmare to get off. Well, a nightmare for Spode--a miracle for me! Spode had very little time to whip me into shape on this particular day.

I pulled a fast one on you again, Spode! 

But really, the rides are not too bad. I'm definitely working harder than before, but it's not only because of my weight loss goal--it's also because show season is coming, so I've been told. Spode is bound and determined to get me out there and does not want to make a complete fool of herself. Therefore, I'm hard at work to improve my geometry (what is this, high school? You're only Miss Wolff at school, kid!) and my ability to bend. I'm getting there! 

First you want me to bend, then you want me straight. Then you want me to trot. Then stop. Then trot. SO confusing!! 

So all in all, life is good. Spode's broken foot is still very much broken, but it doesn't bother her all that much just doing the every day things. She is just like a horse with navicular. See Spode-I just wanted to step on you to test out my theory that people with navicular acth just like horses with navicular. Just slightly "off". But unlike how Spode would react to a horse with navicular, a fractured bone in Spode's foot isn't gong to stop her from getting me in shape.  Alas. I'll have to break her toes next time. I've heard you can't walk if that happens.... Maybe that'll be my next trick. 

I can eat while lying down and expend absolutely no energy whatsoever. Perfect! 

Until later, old sports.

Jay.