How to be Obstinate and Get Away With It: An Equine's Guide

Good evening, Old Sports.  Sorry for the delay.  I was partying. You don't understand how difficult it is to keep up with my namesake.  It's exhausting, I tell you.  But I won't complain too much.  It's a bit passé, I believe, to complain about too many parties.

I neglected to tell you about my weekend once again.  Spode has been hogging the computer for essays and such, so my hooves haven't had much of a chance to type it all up.  Sheesh, if you think I complain, you should hear Spode go on about her essays.  Anyway, let's forget about our whining an move on to the fun horsey times we had.

Well, sort of fun.  Spode was a bit annoyed with me initially because I was obstinate.  Yes, intentionally so.

It was partially the weather you know.  I just wanted to hang out in the snow, but Spode insisted on bringing me inside and playing.  Far too much effort on a blustery day.  I'd rather watch the snowflakes from my shelter. But treats.

Your food...it's just too magnetizing! 

Yeah, yeah. There's snow in my lashes and it's pretty. Can ya make with the food now?

I admittedly enjoyed my nibbles, but then I heard some hoofbeats behind me. Oh boy...

Old Sport, this is soooo good! Wait, do you hear someone?

Seriously?! Ugh, didn't take him long to adopt my treat lady...

#$&@ off, Striker!

No, seriously. I mean it! Don't you dare come over here with your cute as a button face that we all know Spode can't resist! Damn your fuzzy ears! Damn them!!

Hey, you shut your adorable nose that nobody on the farm can resist petting!  You get more treats than I do, and I'm just as cute as you!!

Spode: "Stop arguing, I have plenty." "Ugh, fine..."

"You took my treats."  "No, you took my treats."  "You know this means war." "Bring it, shorty"

Yeah, Strikes and I have some competition.  But don't let the pictures fool you, I actually like the dude.  And Spode knows it.  The barn manager told her that we're getting along great.  In fact, we've buddied up already and Striker whinnies for me when Spode takes me away.  The barn manager is super happy because she called us loners, and she likes to see the loners hang out with each other.  Sheesh-a social outcast at 2 years old.  It's not my fault.  I'm just way too dignified to play with the rest of the herd and get involved with their silly thoroughbred hijinks. Barn manager told Spode that she let the rest of the boys out in the morning, and explained that I just stood there while everyone else galloped around like loonies.  Who has the energy for galloping before breakfast!?

Spode was a bit annoyed that I also used that excuse in our training this weekend.  We did some ground-driving again for the first time in quite a while, and every time Spode said "good boy," I stopped.  This made for a rather frustrated Spode and exasperations that "good" does not equal "whoa."  Well why not?
Pro tip 1 for being obstinate and getting away with it: be adorable.  Always make sure that your obstinance is positive.  For example, stopping when she says good boy.  It's annoying, but also cute because you're just taking her training to the extreme.  She usually stops me and says good boy, so just make the connection.  She can't blame you for it, since it's technically her doing.  Voila!

Spode was also less than impressed with my trot poles this weekend.  I just didn't particularly feel like it.  I was a wee bit lazy, sure.  I made Spode work hard, especially to stop me from eating the hay at one end of the arena.  I let Spode win in the end (Pro tip 2: always let them win in the end to be obstinate and get away with it) and then she began to put away all the poles.

Pro Tip 3: Pretend to be helpful, but don't help at all.  Every time Spode decided to lift a trot pole, I too put my nose down and nudged it.  I also rolled one with my hoof.  I lipped them while she walked, and I followed it with my nose, bumping the end of it while she walked and slotted them back into storage.  Hello adorable! It made her almost forget my obstinance entirely.  All I had to do was pretend to be helpful! The craziest thing about this, is if Spode actually thought about it, she would see that I was the exact opposite.  I made it harder for her to pick up poles and move them because I was pushing them too and she had to watch out for me.  Humans.  So gullible.  I also picked up the lunge whip and waved it around to make her laugh.  At this point, I was well on my way to earning my full allotment of treats despite not being very well behaved.

Pro Tip 4: Play the puppy dog card.  When the arena was all cleared, Spode decided to do some liberty work with me.  She started walking away from me, then stopping, walking, stopping.  I quickly figured out the game. She then did the same thing at a run, so I trotted along beside her.  We even did backing up that way.  All I had to do was follow her around, and since I had no halter, she thinks any hint of obedience is brilliant.  So easy to please and required so little effort.  That mirroring game was the clincher, I realized.  I acted perfectly just as if she was leading me, and just like that, I found myself with a full handful of treats to end the day.
So, my Old Sports of the equine variety, take heed: be obstinate all you want, but make sure you have a back up plan to make your owner fall for your adorableness.  It's super easy if you're as handsome as I am--half the battle is won already!

Mission accomplished.  

Until later, Old Sports.

Jay.