It started off with another practice ride on Saturday (followed by many treats because, according to Spode, I was a superstar and did one of my tests flawlessly. Oh Spode--don't you know I'm always a superstar??). Yes, the good thing about shows is definitely the influx of treats. After our ride, I felt a sense of dread however because Spode whipped out her bathing supplies. A bucket filled with about 10 million different shampoos for different purposes. This girl has a problem. I have shampoos for my white legs, shampoos for my body, conditioners for my body, and different shampoo and conditioners for my tail. Good lord! This from the girl who scoffs at the very idea of buying any special shampoo for her hair. (Spode in: priorities, Gatsby. Priorities).
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| Yes, my owner takes pictures of my butt. Ah horse people. You gotta love 'em. |
So with all those shampoos, bathing took an extraordinarily long time. But always look on the bright side: afterwards, I got to eat grass to my heart's content waiting to dry off. Once I was dry, Spode begrudgingly let me outside again. I had a plan. I knew she would yell at me if I rolled right in front of her, so I pretended to be focused on eating hay until she went away. I thought she had gone for the day so happily lay down and rolled in the dirt. But little did I know that Spode was feeding the other horses, so she popped her head around the corner and yelled at me. Then I had to come back inside to be groomed again. She waited until it was cooler in the evening and then put a blanket on me before turning me out. Damn!
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| What have I done to deserve this? |
Fast forward to Sunday morning. Spode came out very early and shampooed my legs for the third time. My tail got braided and then my mane. She also braided my forelock. Or attempted to. Spode had her chow clothes on underneath her t-shirt and I couldn't resist playing with her stock tie while she tried to french braid me. That and knock her off the stool. This made Spode very angry. I can't imagine why. Anyway, apparently I am now going to be trained to keep my head still for braiding in future. Big sigh.
I made it up to Spode by being a perfect gentleman for my mane braiding, and I must say, I looked pretty dapper. I may be new money and a West Egger, but I've got class! Now if only I had a pink suit to match... Spode's mum still said I should have a cart behind me though. Meanie!
The trailer arrived and I thought about not getting on for a few minutes. I tried the statue method, but it got pretty boring standing at the bottom of the ramp not doing anything, so I eventually got on. The trailer ride over was fine, and I got off in a good mood. I was a little bit anxious with my new surroundings, but overall it was just fine. The only thing I really didn't like was when the horses next door to me left to go to the warm up ring and I thought I was all alone. I paced in a circle for a while but didn't do anything "bad" according to Spode. And hers is the opinion that matters! Yes, Spode was very pleased with my behaviour for my first outing.
The warm up was much more stressful for me. Spode took a long time getting on because mounting blocks are an issue for her, especially when she's wearing new tall boots. Luckily there's a ramp so she didn't have to bend too much to get on, but I did have to stand still with all that commotion. We managed eventually. I was super excited by this point and had a strong urge to run. Spode let me trot right away to burn off some of that energy in case I decided to explode instead. And yes, it was in the back of my mind to do just that, but I resisted the urge. I opted to be very speedy and take the bit instead. Spode was constantly telling me to slow down and I was constantly telling her I'd rather have a bit of a canter. Ah well, we communicated eventually and I settled down and relaxed before my first test.
I had no issues leaving the warm up and the other horses to go to the ring, being a naturally independent chap. And I also had no issue with the judge's booth, the dressage letters, the flowers, the wee dressage fence, or the crowd or people in chairs watching. I was mainly interested in the crowd, and especially Spode's brother-in-law who was acting as photographer for the day. I'm used to Spode taking pictures with her tiny phone, but he had an actual camera... a pretty interesting thing! And I am such a camera hog, I did my test constantly looking at him and the rest of my fan club. On our way to the warm up, a woman stopped me and Spode to comment on my height and cuteness factor. Just then, 2 car loads of people pulled up yelling Gatsby. "Oh, you're famous! And you have a whole fan club!" the woman said. Damn straight. The name's Gatsby. Jay Gatsby, old sport. Here's my card. Please, do come to one of my parties.
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| I have a water bucket instead of a champagne glass, but close enough! |
The judge seemed to like me quite a bit, (er, and Spode said he was a very generous marker...) we got a whopping 70% on our first test despite the mistakes.
But the best part of the day was probably this:
After the first test, Spode jumped off and I had a bit of a break. I was less than impressed when she got back on a little later. Um, what? We have never done this before... Usually when you get off, I am done for the day. You want me to do that all over again? Really!? Being a show horse sucks!
I put on the brakes a couple of times to express my disappointment to Spode, but we carried on anyway. Once I gave up trying to tell Spode I wanted to be done, I settled into a nice rhythm and stopped trying to haul her all over the place like my first warm up. Our second test was much calmer and softer, and Spode didn't need to constantly talk to me. I still looked everywhere except where I was going, but at least my body was more on task this time around. Spode was so excited with me that when we went down centreline for our final halt and salute, Spode forgot to salute! She was so focused on telling me how I put the Great in The Great Gatsby that she dropped her hand and patted me instead of paying her respects to the judge. That was when the judge laughed at us. I was confused! Excuse me, sir! I just finished my first dressage show, and you are laughing at me! I relaxed once I realized that it was Spode he was laughing at and not me, and then Spode laughed too so it's all good.
On this test, we got 74%. Wowzers! That made us reserve open champs for the day, and Spode couldn't be happier with how I handled myself all day. I was totally chilled out and happy to eat hay by the trailer while waiting for the results, and I am well on my way to becoming a show horse. My fan club all came by and told me I was good. Yep, I was feeling pretty happy with myself by the end of the day. So much positive energy can give a horse a complex! But not me. I'm big enough to take it all in ;)
Spode took me home, made sure my legs were alright, and then let me eat some grass. Bliss.
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| This makes it all worth it! |
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| Oh yeah! That's the spot!! |
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| I'm on my way, Spode! Stay right there. |
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| Hello again. You seem to be in a treat-giving mood today. I am happy to oblige while you are like this! |
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| You love my afro, don't you? It's very in. |
Until later, old sports.
Jay.
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